Misplaced Soul Rewritten: Side Stories
by ArtimecWing
Summary: Companion short stories related to Misplaced Soul Rewritten.
1. Souji's Thoughts

I will be uploading the companion pieces here instead of within Misplaced Soul Rewritten itself just so I don't confuse myself and accidently upload the wrong thing in the wrong location. And besides, I do remember promising more omakes. Leave suggestions if there is a certain event you want to read about from the story that is written from a different character's perspective. I'll do my best to fulfill those requests.

* * *

 **Side stories: Souji's Thoughts**

* * *

 _Chapter 17 Interlude_

* * *

Souji awakens slowly, slowly opening his eyes before he decides it's too much of a hassle and closes them again to block out the light of the morning sun as it trickles into the bedroom through a small opening in the window.

"Not today," he thinks to himself before burying his face back into his pillow.

He normally wasn't the type to lounge around in bed after waking up, but it wasn't like he'd be allowed to leave the room while he still had the measles. And besides, laying still felt good for his aching body. Nuzzling his warm pillow gently, he gets comfortable again before he realizes that his actual pillow isn't actually as soft as what he's laying his head on. The events of the evening before suddenly flashes through his mind along with ** _her_** voice.

 _"It's lonely to suffer by yourself, right? Go ahead and sleep. I'll still be here when you wake up."_

His eyes shoot open as he burns red. His head immediately vacates his spot on the "pillow" (or should he say "pillows") as he nearly leaps across the room to put distance between himself and the person he fell asleep on. Shizuka never stirred at his actions and continued snoozing away. She had always been a surprisingly heavy sleeper when she did fall asleep.

Then he wonders why he was so hasty to take his face off of her bosom because he remembered that he clearly had permission, even if temporary, to use her breasts as a pillow. And so he decides to take advantage of this fortuitous situation and readjusts himself so his head is, enjoyably, back on her soft chest. While he listens to her even breaths, he thinks back to the day he met her.

Shizuka was a tiny little thing when he first saw her. She was still small in stature now but back then, she looked like a living doll.

He remembers that he was still reeling from the hurt after being left behind by his sister when he felt her eyes staring at him. He had turned towards where he had felt her gaze only to see her flinch before quickly ducking behind a wall. In the end, he was sure that the only reason they even greeted each other was because Kondou-san had picked her up and placed her in front of him.

They really didn't talk much after that. In his early days at Shieikan, he spent most of his time on performing chores and getting beat up by the older students, so it was understandable that he really wasn't in the mood to make friends. Yet, he found her following him mutely day after day like a ghost.

He didn't understand why, and he still doesn't understand to this day, why she kept following him. He was mean to her and he called her names. At first, he just thought it was because she was too dumb to understand a hostile situation, but that thought was quickly debunked when she smartly vanished every time before his bullies arrived. So he decided that the reason she wouldn't leave him alone was because she was lonely. After all, from what he was able to gather, most people thought that she was just a myth and that the young daughter of Kondou-san didn't really exist. He decided to believe that she didn't really want to be his friend and was just following him because he was one of the few people that did know she existed.

But then she cried over him one day after he got beaten so hard that he emptied his stomach on the floor. She had scurried in immediately after the older students had left to attempt to treat his wounds. Not wanting to be touched, he yelled at her and pushed her away. But she didn't back down and wrestled some bandages onto him (in such an unimaginably tidy manner that it looked like a doctor wrapped his wounds) and when he went to yell at her again for touching him, he found that he couldn't. He couldn't because she was crying over his injuries.

So he just ended up asking, "Why are you helping me?"

"Because it was the right thing to do," she answered him, speaking to him for the first time since he arrived at Shieikan. He wanted to laugh cruelly at her naïve answer.

The next time she did anything of any note was a few days later. Instead of attempting to hide (she really did suck at hiding and it was amazing that most people never even noticed her) while following him around, she just brazenly followed him around out in the open. He had originally thought it was annoying how she tried to hide while following him but now, he'd give anything for her to revert to her previous methods of stalking him. She annoyingly stuck her nose into everything he did and he couldn't chase her off no matter what he did.

And then that lunch incident happened. Like an idiot, she didn't flee when the older students arrived to bully him. Like an idiot, she called attention to her tiny self and defiantly stood up to his bullies for him.

 ** _Like an idiot, she shredded her hands with a broken bowl just for him._**

Begrudgingly he decided at that moment that he doesn't hate her so much anymore and that she wasn't really as annoying as he originally thought her to be.

His walk through memory lane then pauses when he feels her move slightly beneath him and he finds himself disappointed when she continues to sleep. However, at the same time, he finds that actually enjoys watching her sleep up close. Out of all the things he could like about watching her sleep, he discovers that his favorite thing was the way her long lashes fell against her porcelain face when her eyes were closed and relaxed.

And then he wonders how it all happened. How his affection for her turned into these feelings. How he went from just simply loving her the same way he loved Kondou-san to **_being in love_** with her. It was such a subtle transformation that he didn't even notice it until it was too late.

He had decided when he figured out his feelings for her that he wouldn't tell her or anyone out of fear that he would frighten her off and ruin their relationship. But it was getting harder and harder as he began to desire her more. He found that he didn't want to just be her best friend anymore.

There were nights where he had dreams that she was his lovely wife. There were nights where he dreamt of holding her, kissing her, and being intimate with her. He wanted her to be his. He wanted to be the man to give her children in the future.

He then decides as he is laying on her bosom that he wasn't going to hold back anymore. Of course, he wasn't going to straight out tell her his feelings for her right away. The moment he recovers from the measles is when he is going to test the waters; to figure out how she feels about him before making his move because he was already too far gone to restrain himself.

He was already at the point where he would rather die than see her in the arms of another man.


	2. Hijikata's Thoughts

**Side Stories: Hijikata's Thoughts**

* * *

 _Chapter 19 Interlude_

* * *

Hijikata sets down his luggage in the room he is to share with Kondou-san and Sannan-san before he removes his swords from his hip. He doesn't say it out loud, but he's glad that they'll get to sleep in proper futons tonight. While the others may have been making fun of Heisuke and his aching back earlier, he knew that all of their backs hurt from sleeping on the ground for the past two days. Well, almost all of them. He remembers very specifically that he witnessed Shizuka sleeping on Souji for the past two days and instead of complaining, Souji appeared extremely satisfied with the sleeping arrangement.

This brought up a very important question. Did Kondou-san know what was going on between Souji and his own daughter?

"Kondou-san, what do you think of Shizuka and Souji?" he asks.

Sannan-san merely shakes his head in amusement at the question and carries on with his own business, ignoring the budding conversation as he goes through the items he intended to bring with him to Kyoto.

"Hmm…," Kondou-san hums at the question before answering, "They are very good friends. I would even argue that they're best friends. Why do you ask, Toshi?"

"Nothing much, just thinking about things," he answers as he takes a seat on the floor to rest his legs.

So Kondou-san absolutely has no idea what was going on between the two. He sighs as he tilts his head up to stare at the ceiling.

He remembers watching them growing up together. Shizuka, at the time he met her, was absolutely terrified of being alone and followed Souji everywhere like a shadow. Souji, instead of being the annoying brat he was to him, allowed her to come with him wherever he went and even when as far as to go look for her when she wasn't in his presence.

At first, he thought that Souji was almost like an older brother to Shizuka, especially with the way he was so attentive to her. Then, as he paid closer attention to their relationship, he noticed that Shizuka looked after Souji in a strangely mature manner. While Souji made sure that Shizuka was never alone and always had someone to talk to, Shizuka always made sure that he was well-fed, healthy, and happy. And when Souji got sick, she would always stay with him, doing the best she could to nurse him back to good health. Sometimes, it was hard to tell who was actually older.

So he decided, based on those observations, that they didn't have a sibling-type relationship. Those two were best friends. Now, if he had just left his observations as is, then he would be like Kondou-san. He would just believe those two were only just best friends when they clearly weren't. At least, not anymore.

As those two grew older, he noticed a shift in Souji's attitude towards her while she remained largely the same. At first, Souji's changes were just subtle. Souji would grow little more envious when someone else approached Shizuka (Not that it was much of a difference from before since Souji always grew envious whenever someone approached either her or Kondou-san. He suspected the reason why Souji disliked him so much was because he was so close to Kondou-san and her by extension.) and would even become downright hostile if the one that approached her was the opposite gender. Then when Shizuka was no longer afraid of being alone, Souji still sought her out and refused to leave her alone. Then Souji started to watch her when she wasn't looking, occasionally blushing when she noticed him. But ultimately, Souji didn't change his behavior too much around her.

That was until Souji got sick with the measles half a year back. Like usual when Souji got sick, Shizuka stayed with Souji and nursed him until his health returned. But Souji came back from the illness a changed man. Souji became bolder around Shizuka.

He wasn't exactly sure of everything Souji did around Shizuka, but he could clearly remember the things he saw. Souji was no longer restraining himself so much when he touched her. The waist, hips, neck, legs, and even the breast (he supposes he should at least be thankful he never witnessed Souji stick his hand inside her clothing) were all targets of affection. Souji also started kissing her (though not on the lips) with seemingly chaste lips. Souji's words also became increasingly sweeter around Shizuka.

And Shizuka, she didn't mind Souji's touches or affectionate gestures. In fact, she didn't even notice a difference in Souji's behavior around her. She just continued on with how she normally behaved around Souji. Shizuka may have been fifty shades of genius, but she was also one hundred shades of oblivious. She was so bad at noticing Souji's attempts at snagging her interest that he even felt bad for Souji (him feel bad for Souji, imagine that).

But all the same, he found that he somehow ended up rooting for Souji. Souji and Shizuka together weren't a bad combination. In fact, he would argue they were good for each other. Shizuka balanced Souji out. Shizuka was excellent at curbing Souji's temper, for building Souji's confidence. Souji was excellent at pulling Shizuka out of her shell. Souji made Shizuka smile more than anyone else ever could. But most of all, both of them would do anything for the other and that's what made them match so well, in his opinion.

"Hijikata-kun. Kondou-san," Sannan-san then says, bring him back to reality. "Do you smell that? It smells like something is burning."

Kondou-san pauses what he's doing just to sniff the air before he jumps up in alarm. "That is smoke! Toshi!"

When Kondou-san says his name, he is quick to leap to his feet and rushes over to the open window. Below, he sees a shadow of a man standing in front of a building across the street with a torch. Then the shadow suddenly uses the torch to set building ablaze. In his alarm, he quickly grabs his swords and runs out the room.

"There's an arsonist!" he alerts his two friends before they too retrieve their swords and follow him out.

When he arrives outside, he sees that the others had the same idea. But what he does not expect is that he knows the arsonist.

"Serizawa-dono, what are you doing?!" he hears Kondou-san yelling at the arsonist.

And suddenly all hopes of a peaceful evening is destroyed.


	3. Night at Shimabara

**Side Stories: Night at Shimabara**

* * *

 _Chapter 24 Interlude_

* * *

Souji closed his eyes just as Serizawa laughed at one of the geisha's flattering jokes.

"Serizawa-san has such boring mundane interests," Souji thinks silently to himself as he watches the man hold out his choko for a geisha to refill.

Then, as if all the geisha in the banquet room were in sync with each other, the one that had taken a liking to sitting beside him offers to refill his own choko. He ignores her and gulps down the rest of his saké without letting her pour more into his cup.

Shimabara was a sight for the eyes, he'd admit. It looked elegant. It looked expensive. The lanterns in the streets make the whole of district glow with a warm red color. The décor was all unbelievably fancy and decorated with motifs of flowers. The saké, sweet. The food, exquisite. And finally, there were the women.

The women walking the streets on their way to work for the night were all rather beautiful, painted with white foundation and red lips. Their expensive kimono reflected the beauty of the current season of spring tastefully. Sakura blossoms, shoubu, nadeshiko, all themes on their pricey kimono, just like that geisha beside him in the sakura kimono. But honestly, none of this really held his attention.

If he wanted to eat delicious food, then all he would have to do is remain at the Yagi house and wait for dinner. Granted, the food wouldn't look as fancy as the food that was placed in front of him right now but would taste so much better since Shizuka always tailored his food to his preferences, which she knew like the back of her hand. Though, there were times where she still did try to sneak spring onions into his food (she was probably successful a few times too) much to his dismay.

If he wanted sweet saké, then all he had to do was share a few cups with Kondou when Hijikata was out. Of course, Shizuka would have to be the one to pour his alcohol if he wanted to taste the maximum sweetness of the saké. Even if the saké he was drinking tasted like muddy water, if Shizuka was the one pouring it for him, then the saké would taste like it was brewed for an emperor.

If he wanted the company of a beautiful woman, then he would go seek the attentions of **_his_** Shizuka. Shizuka wasn't as elegant as the women in the red-light district. She wasn't as skilled as the geisha when it came to the art of conversation, music, and dance. She didn't paint her face with makeup like the geisha did. Nor was she wasn't as cunning as the women in the red-light district when it came to matters regarding the relationship between a man and a woman. But **_his_** Shizuka didn't need to be.

While she was a fairly pretty but simple woman, he thought she was the most beautiful because she was kind (well, when she wanted to be), because she could think for herself. She was funny (though, most of the time that was just her being dense) and made him laugh. But most of all, she was the woman he wanted most because she understood him and accepted him.

Souji exhales slowly as he sets down his choko. Unfortunately, Shizuka wasn't here at the moment, so his eyes wander to avoid boredom until they land on the man beside him, Saito Hajime. He supposes that it is strange that he would come all this way to the red-light district to only stare at a man, but nothing else could hold his interest at the moment.

He wonders, "How was Hajime-kun able to kill a man without feeling emotional like Shinpachi-san did?"

He is in awe of his friend but is also envious of his friend at the same time. Hajime was always one of the few people that were able to keep up with him in kenjutsu as an opponent when it came to the level of skill. They were equals in a sense. That was until Hajime killed a man. Hajime now had the experience of killing that he didn't have. If there came a time where the men of Shieikan would have to fight for Kondou's dream and honor, Hajime would be more useful to Kondou than he would be. That is unacceptable. He was already losing in usefulness to Hijikata and he refuses to lose to anyone else, especially in kenjutsu, the one thing he excels in.

"Oi, Okita," the unpleasant voice of Serizawa snatches his attention. He looks away from Hajime and flickers his attention the unpleasant man. "You've got an odd sense of taste to stare at a man after coming to the red-light district."

He shrugs on a confident expression as he replies, "Not really. I'm not at all interested in places like this."

"Oh? Then what are you doing here? With most of the men here, you could have stayed behind and taken this chance to bed Kondou-kun's daughter without interference. I've seen the way you look at her." His glance hardens into a glare at the disrespectful words said but Serizawa ignores his expression and keeps speaking. "She's a disrespectful vixen and not nearly as beautiful as the woman here, but even I will admit she's fairly pretty. I bet she's even feistier in-between the sheets, and a virgin too. Nothing feels sweeter to a man than taking a woman's virginity."

He decides to not say anything about what Serizawa said about Shizuka (since he wasn't ready to talk about his desires for her out loud to other people yet) and focuses on Serizawa's question.

"Isn't it obvious why I came along to Shimabara?" he asks sarcastically as he raises a cocky eyebrow at Serizawa. "I thought I might catch the opportune chance to cut you down if I tagged along."

Serizawa unexpectedly laughs at his serious threat. "Cut me down? A snot-nosed brat like you? What a great joke!"

He grits his teeth at the laughter, furious that Serizawa takes him as a joke while the rest of the room falls silent. Serizawa's laughter continues to ring throughout the room, emphasizing the tense silence.

He doesn't understand. He was serious when he threatened Serizawa. The threat should have been frightening, considering his known skill with a sword. Why did Serizawa not feel threatened? Why?

"Your death threats mean absolutely nothing to me," Serizawa says as he stops laughing. "Although I cannot say the same for that Hijikata guy."

"Hijikata-san?" he snarls partially to himself. Was he going to lose to Hijikata-san again? **_Here?_**

"When that man glared at me at the Honjou Inn, even I felt chills for a second! Compared to him, your threats to kill me sound like childish prater."

"Childish?" he thinks to himself distastefully. Shizuka had once called Serizawa a child at the Honjou Inn, so Serizawa was the last person he wanted to hear call him a child.

He narrows his eyes dangerously. "If you like, I'd be willing to seriously have at you…"

Even though he is serious and attempts to be imposing, his voice comes out weaker than he would have liked it to and even shakes a little. However, before he is able to even able to prove his words, he is stopped.

"Souji," Hajime says, pausing his drink to silently telling him to stop.

Then at Hajime's voice, Serizawa expression shifts from amused to serious. It was unfair. He rattles out threats at Serizawa and he gets laughed at while Hajime only says one word (Souji, his own freaking name) and Serizawa becomes serious? Where was the logic in that?

"There's a man who has killed more than one or two people." Serizawa's words shock him into turning so he could stare at Hajime calmly drinking saké. "He's far more imposing than you." He quickly turns back to Serizawa just to see a smirk as his remaining confidence all drain away. Serizawa kept talking. "No wonder Kondou-kun's daughter doesn't acknowledge your advances on her. As she said to me before, 'Why would a woman want to spend her night with a child?' The only reason she would ever spend time with you is because she sees you as a child that needs to be cared for."

He sees nothing and hears nothing after the killing blow Serizawa delivers to him. He knows he should have been paying attention to his surroundings. He knows he should have been aware of what occurred in the banquet room after those words but his mind was already gone, drowning in his doubts.

Maybe Serizawa was right. Maybe Shizuka wasn't really as dense as he believed. Maybe she was just pretending to be dense about his feelings and desires toward her so she wouldn't have to hurt him by rejecting him. Maybe she was refusing to acknowledge his feelings because she thought he was a child. A poor pitiful child.

Then the next thing he sees as he surfaces from his sea of doubts is Shizuka kneeling before him

"Souji?"

She reaches out to take his hand, but just as her fingers brush against his hand, those poisonous doubts from before resurface and he jerks away because he finds that her touch hurts now. He finds that he can't look at her at the moment.

"Souji, talk to me. Please?" she tries again, begging him to respond as worry is written all across her face. This time, she puts her hand on his thigh. He finds that this touch didn't sting like the last one did. "What happened?"

He doesn't want to talk about what happened, least of all to her. What if Serizawa was telling the truth? What if she only saw him as a pitiful child she had to care for? That thought alone just broke his heart, but he decides to try and get an honest answer out of her.

He picks up her hand off his thigh and rubs the knuckles with his thumb. Her hands were so small compared to his and so smooth. The only blemishes he could feel on her hand were the few callouses formed from practicing naginatajutsu and the one scar she has on the palm of her hand, the scar she got when she chased off those older students with a piece of a broken bowl for him all those years back. The presence of that scar alone gives him the courage to look up at her and speak.

"Shizuka, do you think of me as a child?"

She doesn't answer his question, only knitting her eyebrows together at him before repeating her question. "What happened?"

It frustrates him that she doesn't answer. "Answer my question."

She still doesn't and just stares at him with wide eyes and he firmly believes it's because she's shocked that he discovered the lies she's fed him. He believes that Serizawa's words are true. And suddenly, her hand he was holding felt like a hot fire that was eager to burn him.

"I see…," he says as he quickly drops her hand and climbs to his feet so he could get away as fast as possible. "I'm heading back…"

He leaves Sumiya, rushing away so he could return to the solitude to of his room in the Yagi house. And even though he believes Serizawa's words to be the truth, he cannot stop himself as he pauses on the streets and looks back, hoping against hope that he was wrong and Shizuka had chased after him. He doesn't see her and his hopes are shattered as he sprints back to the Yagi house. He throws his bedroom door open once he arrives and slams it shut before he goes to lay on the floor, staring at the wall opposite of the door so he could sulk and drown himself in despair.

But he isn't allowed to sulk for long.

He hears her enter his room silently. And while he does not turn to look, he knows it's her. Her footsteps were unique. They were silent, ghostlike, yet heavy from being filled with purpose. He feels her kneel down behind him before he feels her hands rubbing his side.

If his eyes hadn't been opened by Serizawa's words just earlier, he was sure that he would have lost it right there and pinned her underneath him and kissed her. He would have asked her to give him her virginity. He would have had sex with her. But he wasn't fooled any longer by her deceptive ways.

He ignored her the best he could until it became obvious that she wasn't going to leave.

"I want to be alone right now," he says.

She doesn't leave and speaks instead. "I heard from Sano-san what Serizawa said—"

He doesn't let her finish as anger explodes within him and spills out. He sits up abruptly and practically grabs the hand on his waist and throws it as far away as possible from him.

 ** _"Don't touch me!"_** he snarls at her, bitterly taking joy from seeing the hurt written on her face as backs away slightly.

But she deserved it. She betrayed his trust.

"You've always thought of me as a child, haven't you?!" He tore into her viciously, maliciously enjoying the traitor's growing pain with each word. "You've always pitied me from the beginning, right?! You've lied to me since the beginning! I thought you were like Kondou-san, someone that never lied to me and treated me kindly because of the kindness of your own heart! I thought you were someone I could trust in this rotten world! You never really cared for me and just pitied me! Get out!"

And then he said the one thing he was sure would hurt her the most.

 ** _"I loathe you."_**

But then she didn't flee from his room right away like he predicted. She had the guts to stay and look him directly in his eyes.

"I've never pitied you nor have I ever lied to you. I may have withheld information, but I have never lied to you. I always tried to make sure you were happy because it—"

Her voice cracks as she buries her face into her hands as she let out a sob and that when the horror fills him. Serizawa's words from earlier didn't truly open his eyes. **_Serizawa's words preyed on his insecurities and blinded him to the truth._** He had hurt the one that he loves most. He made her cry again and he had enjoyed it, no matter how briefly and misled he was. She wasn't the one that betrayed him.

 ** _He was the one that betrayed her._**

He doesn't hear the rest of what she says. All he does know is that she couldn't finish before she turned to flee, to run from him. But he couldn't let her. He knew if he allowed her to leave, if he didn't set things right somehow, then they would never speak again. So he calls for her to stop.

"Shizuka…" His voice is still weak from his realization and she doesn't stop. She was already at the door and he grows more desperate as he scrambles to his feet. "No! Shizuka! Wait!"

She showed no signs of stopping and reached for the door, and that's when he reaches her and pulls her back against him so she couldn't escape. He's so rattled by the sheer chance that he may not have reached her in time that his legs grow weak and he sinks to his knees, dragging her down along with him.

"Let go." Her voice shakes as she struggles against him, trying to break free.

"No…" His voice also shakes as he buries his face against the nape of her neck. He no longer had the strength to form whole sentences as he puts everything he has left into holding her in place, to keep her from running.

"No…," he says again just as the tears he had been holding back broke free. "Please… Don't leave me… Don't hate me… I didn't mean it… Don't leave me… Don't leave…"

And then all the strength he has left vanishes just as she stops struggling against him. He couldn't even stop her when she pried his arms open, causing the fear within to grow tenfold. She was going to leave and he wouldn't be able to stop her.

But she didn't abandon him.

Instead, she turns around and wraps her loving arms around him, allowing him to push his face into the crook of her neck as he continues to cry. She rubs his back and whispers loving words into his ear when she could have blamelessly cut all ties him.

"I'll only leave if you want me to. If you want me to stay, then I will. You can hate me all you want later, but I'll stay with you until you're ready to let go."

Hate her? Let her go? Impossible.

The ache in his lungs was unbearable. He needed to tell her… Tell her what? That she was lovely and brave and better than anything he deserves? That he was twisted, crooked, wrong, but not so broken that he can't pull himself together into some semblance of a man for her? That without meaning to, he'd begun to lean on her, to look for her, to need her near?

He wasn't going to wait for her to figure out his feelings for her anymore. He decides that he is going to tell her that he loves her soon.


	4. Letter

**Side Stories: Letter**

* * *

 _Chapter 31 Interlude_

* * *

It was a beautiful spring morning. Despite the hustle and bustle of the city of Edo, it was quiet enough to hear the leaves rustle in the trees above as a light wind danced over the rooftops.

"It's a good day for laundry," Okita Mitsu thinks to herself as she shakes out the wet haori she is about to hang on the drying line. "The clothing will dry fast and I can have the laundry all folded and put away by noon."

She hums to herself, enjoying the rare peace and quiet in the household. Then there was a crash followed by the sound of ceramic shattering.

Mitsu's back sags as she takes a deep breath to quell her infamous temper. Yoshijiro, her nine-year-old son, and Ishi, her seven-year-old daughter were washing the dishes from breakfast. They couldn't have possibly have broken the dish on **_purpose_**. She'd give them the benefit of the doubt. They weren't naughty children by any means, but they had an impish side and bountiful imagination.

Except she hears the sound of six more dishes breaking followed by, "Ishi! That's cheating! You can't throw the donabe! Do you want to take my head off?!"

"It's your own fault if you get hit. It just means you're too slow and deserve it!"

"I'm totally gonna get you now!"

More crashes follow along with the dull thump sound of someone diving to the floor.

A smile emerges on her face, one looking so falsely cheerful with a shadow that it could send terrified shivers down a grown man's spine. The birds suddenly stop chirping and the gentle breeze above ceases. It was as if the calm of the world around her could sense something boiling beneath her calm exterior, something bubbling violently and about to boil over. She drops the kimono she was about to hang and marches into the kitchen.

A war zone. That's what she walks in on.

Shards of broken ceramic littered the stone floor. The cast-iron pots upturned, the cutting board on the floor, and, gods forbid, a knife stuck in the wall. The culprits? Yoshijiro is ducked behind the counter whilst wearing an iron pot like a helmet. Ishi, on the other hand, standing proudly out in the open with a teapot in her hand. The clear victor in their game of… something. They were probably reenacting a battle scene from one of the stories their father has told them.

A cough. That's all it takes to make both children freeze in place. Then silence fills the household again as the two slowly turn their heads with their tense necks towards her.

She finds it somewhat satisfying when she sees the color slowly drain from their faces.

"It's his/her fault!" the two children then suddenly yell at the same time, pointing to the opposite before scrambling to pick the shattered pieces off the floor.

She doesn't have to say anything to get both of them back in line. They both know if they speak back to her anymore they'd end up having to stand outside with pails of water in both hands for at least an hour as punishment. In the span of fewer than thirty minutes, the kitchen is meticulously clean and actually even cleaner than before. All that is missing from the kitchen are a few broken dishes, the casualties of this morning's "game".

She then lets the both of them off with a slap on the wrists. She knows that she should give them a harsher punishment, but she also knows that they understand what they did wrong and feel guilty. Her light punishment is enough. However, the real reason she doesn't give the two a harsher punishment is because of who they remind her of.

Souji.

Her children had the same impish personality as her dear younger brother. Souji would have liked her children if they had ever gotten a chance to meet.

But they never have.

This thought makes her chest tighten. She has written countless letters to him over the years. Souji has never replied.

Isami assures her in the letters he writes that it is because Souji is busy and does not have a chance to write back, or that Souji forgets that she is not a mind reader and that he has to write back in order to let her know how he is. She chooses to believe what Isami says even though she knows it is not true. She remembers the last time she saw Souji. She remembers the look of betrayal on his sweet little face as she walked away.

But still, just because Souji does not write to her does not mean she does not know how he's doing. Isami and Toshizo were kind enough to update her on Souji's well-being with a little **_persuasion_**. Threats, that's what her husband, Rintaro, calls it jokingly.

As she heads back outside to finish hanging the laundry, she grows excited at the site of a familiar man by the front door.

"Good morning, Kobayashi-san!" she chirps as she hurries over to the postman. "Do you have any letters for me?"

The man politely inclines his head toward her. "Indeed I do," he says as he hands her a letter addressed to her.

Isami's handwriting adorns the front of the sealed letter. Another update on Souji. If she didn't care so much about propriety, she would be jumping up and down from glee. Instead, she just smiles politely.

"Thank you very much!" she says as she accepts the letter and bows in gratitude.

"Ah, no. You don't need to thank me, Okita-san. I'm just doing my job. Give Rintaro-san my regards!"

The postman then leaves, though, not fast enough for her tastes. As soon as the postman steps out the compound gates, she tears the letter open excitedly, almost accidentally ripping the precious letter.

 _Dear Mitsu,_

 _I hope you are well. We are all doing well in Kyoto ourselves. While in the beginning, our mission to obtain Aizu domain's sponsorship almost seemed hopeless, I am now proud to say that the Roshigumi has won them over. Souji is especially thrilled himself because he helped secure sponsorship with his exhibition match with Sannan. Souji won, by the way, If you are curious._

 _As for Souji's health, he is healthier than a horse. He is eating well, my daughter, Shizuka, makes sure of that. While he is still a picky eater, he seems even less so when Shizuka cooks. But I can hardly blame Souji for being picky. Lucky for us that Shizuka came with us to Kyoto or I'm sure we'd be eating burnt rice every day!_

 _Speaking of Souji and Shizuka, the last time I wrote, I told you how Souji has grown interested in Shizuka as a woman and have entered into a relationship with her. But something has happened since and there was a… I don't even know what to call it. Perhaps a power struggle? Either way, by the time you receive this letter, they will be married._

 _Now, I know what you're going to say (please don't eat me), but Shizuka matches Souji well. She makes sure that he is eating well, clothed well, healthy, but above all, happy. I know you would have liked to be told about the marriage before it happened and be present at the wedding but the circumstances wouldn't have allowed for it. The wedding had to be rushed. I also know you would have liked to have met Shizuka first, to see if you'd approve of her. You have nothing to worry about. I'm sure you would like her. She's a good woman and will be an excellent wife, and I'm not saying this just because she's my daughter. Just ask Toshi or Gen, they'd say the same thing._

 _Once again, I apologize for not being able to tell you about the wedding before it actually happens. I will keep you updated on Souji, and if you want to know what type of woman Shizuka is for yourself, you can write to her. I'm sure she'd be happy to exchange letters with you._

 _Best Regards,_

 _Kondou Isami_

She feels her eyes bulge out skull. Souji married?! How did something like that even happens so fast?

Her arms drop limply to her sides. It feels like someone just stabbed her in the chest. She has to force herself to breathe because it hurts. While she is happy for her little brother, happy there is a new addition to the family, she feels alone. Souji didn't even write himself to inform her, his own sister. He had cut her out of his life and just by not informing her himself of his marriage, Souji had made something loud and clear.

She is not a part of his life. She doesn't exist to him anymore. She is unimportant.

No. She shakes her head. Maybe Souji just forgot to inform her just like Isami has mentioned that Souji is forgetful when it comes to writing to her. Yes, that has to be it! Perhaps if she writes one more letter to Souji, one to congratulate him on his marriage and to tell him that he needs to respond to her letters, he will respond.

She is crushed, her heart torn from her chest and shredded by wolves' teeth when she never gets a response from Souji.

But she will not stop trying.


	5. Fatherhood

Quick, one more short before Christmas! Well, depending on where you may live...

* * *

 **Side Stories: Fatherhood**

* * *

 _Chapter 36 Interlude_

* * *

Souji evidently was having a difficult time falling asleep. As for his wife, she fell asleep without much fanfare, not even bothering to put on a sleeping robe to cover her bare body before falling asleep, not that he minds at all. He does enjoy seeing her naked. But tonight, his mind is elsewhere as his hand rubs tender circles on her belly. He pulls the blanket that covers the two, now three, of them up a little higher as he savors the feeling of her fuller belly beneath his other hand.

A baby bump. Shizuka is expecting.

It's still early. His wife has been pregnant for a mere six weeks, so her baby bump isn't very large yet, but it is certainly not unnoticeable. He almost laughs to himself again when he recounts how Shizuka came to finally realize her condition. How she did not notice all this time was beyond him, especially since this was a medical matter of the body. There are definitely times she was as dull as she was brilliant.

He presses a light kiss onto the nape of her neck, carefully brushing her hair out of his way with a gentle graze of his nose as to not to disturb her from her much-needed slumber. Shizuka shifts slightly from his actions but does not wake, causing his heart to pound harder. In an attempt to calm his already racing heart, he takes deep breaths, hoping that the night air would bring peace. His attempts are futile.

To say that he's ecstatic would the understatement of the century. Him, a father? He never even dared to imagine the chance of it happening before. Sure, he and Shizuka did talk about children in length, and even Kondou joined in on some of those conversations. However, he has never really truly believed that he would become a father for one second. It was just something that seemed intangible to him.

Impossible.

Impermissible.

And yet, here he is, laying in his futon with his pregnant wife. Not so impossible anymore.

But as euphoric as he is, he is just as frightened. He has absolutely no doubts that Shizuka would be a wonderful mother, seeing as how well she handled her little sister, Tamako, and Yagi's little boy, Yuu. It is himself that he is worried about. His own father, Okita Katsujiro, died when he was only about two summers old and his mother didn't live very long after that. He has no memory of his father and the ones he did have of his mother were so faded that he often wonders if his memories of her were real or just the product of his imagination. He doesn't know how to be a parent, a father.

He admits to himself that he doesn't believe that he is very well suited to being a father. This thought eats away at him like a corrosive acid.

Fathers were supposed to be gentle but stern with their children.

He is not even close to being gentle. He is the sword of the Roshigumi, Kondou-san's lethal weapon. And as for stern? As much as he hates to admit it, Hijikata-san was far more talented in that aspect than he is. Souji finds he is anything but stern. He is impish. Childish.

Parents carry the all-important task of teaching their children right from wrong.

He is still struggling with distinguishing right from wrong. He still cannot understand what Kondou means by wielding a sword for good. He does not understand goals and ideologies no matter how hard he tries. Those concepts are foreign to him. All he knows is that he is a sword, that he will cut down anything in Kondou's way.

It is at these times he wishes that Shizuka does not love him like she does. She deserves a better man, someone that understands right from wrong. But he was, is, so incredibly selfish. In spite of everything, he refused to relinquish her and selfishly claimed her as his wife. He finds the needs her too much and now she is carrying his child within her, he hates himself a little more for not doing what is best for her.

Undoubtedly, he will screw over any child he has a role in parenting.

The real reason he wanted a daughter over a son, despite a son being able to carry on the family name, is because daughters stay close to their mothers. If his child, their child, stays closer to Shizuka, he believes that there is less of a chance he will screw up their child.

"You know, I can hear your mind racing a million miles per a second."

He manages to prevent himself from jumping in surprise at his wife's voice. He blinks before looking down towards his chest only to see Shizuka peeking at him from the corner of her eyes. He was so lost in his thoughts that he didn't even notice her open her eyes.

She shifts in his arms, rolling so that she could press her own chest against his own. He sees her flinch a little from that action. Her lovely breasts, which were now wonderfully growing larger, were still tender and sore.

"What's bothering you?" she asks before kissing his chin.

He finds comfort in wrapping his arms around her a little tighter. "Just too excited to sleep," he half lies. "Go back to sleep."

She doesn't say anything at first, just tucking her head beneath his chin for more warmth before murmuring sleepily against his neck, "You're lying." She places a gentle hand on his side. "Tell me the truth, please?"

Sometimes he believes that she is too perceptive at the worst possible times.

He means to make it sound like a joke, so she wouldn't worry too much, but his vocal chords refused to cooperate with him at the wrong moment. Instead of it coming out lightheartedly, it came out heavy and defeated.

"I'm not going to be a good chichi-ue. I'll mess our kid up."

That seems to wake her up a little more.

"Why do you think that is?" she asks him.

Well, since he already spilled once, there really wasn't much point in not spilling the rest.

"I've never had a father figure. I don't know how to be a good chichi-ue."

She just gave him that look, that soft and loving look that felt like rich warm milk, making him wonder what he ever did to make her choose him.

"I've never had a mother figure and I already know you're thinking I'd make a good haha-ue. What makes you and I so different?"

"You've had Kondou-san, and Tsune-san once they married," he was quick to point out. Those two made sure she grew up right.

Her next words were so obvious that he wonders why he never thought of it himself.

"So did you. And don't say you weren't truly family. Otou-san loves you like you are his own son. Tsune-san treats you like you're Otou-san's own little brother. They helped raise you too, didn't they?"

"But—"

"But nothing," she silences him with a gentle tone and a tender touch. "You can't say you'll be terrible at something without trying first. Wasn't it the same with kenjutsu? Before learning kenjutsu, you've never even touched a bokken before. Yet here you are, one of the best of the Roshigumi. Besides, nobody has been a parent without the presence a child first, right? They learned as they went along. You won't be any different. Don't doubt yourself."

She snuggles closer to him, making him feel whole.

"And you're not alone," she then finally says, laying his doubts to rest as her words fill his heart. "I'm your wife, the mother of our child. We're partners. We share the privilege of parenthood. I'll be here for you just like you're here for me."

He still had trouble sleeping afterward, but it was the images of a happy and loved child that filled his mind. In the very end, it was his excitement, not his fears, that kept him from slumber.


	6. Oni

**Side Stories: Oni**

* * *

 _Chapter 45 Interlude_

* * *

Hijikata sinks further into the tub. The water is warm. He knows it is warm, but he can't feel the warmth. All he feels is cold, the cold ice of guilt. He had managed to kill Niimi in the end, but what was the price? During that half month Niimi was missing, many corpses turned up on the street, each shriveled up like prunes from being sucked dry.

There were women and children among the corpses! A certain image resurfaces in his mind.

 _The Shinsengumi had been called upon to investigate a death. The likely cause? Homicide. He isn't prepared for the what he sees. A dead child. A little girl that cannot have been older than ten summers old. Her skin is dry, wrinkle, and almost brittle. It is an ugly shade of gray. Her eyes, sunken into her skull._

 _"She's so small," is the first thing that comes to his mind._

 _He has never seen such a small corpse and he only avoids losing his breakfast from sheer force of will. He hears the wailing of a woman nearby followed by the ugly sobbing of an elderly man with graying hair. The victim's mother and grandfather._

 _He closes his eyes as he wills the sounds of grieving away before he his steeled eyes snaps open once more. Turning to the two soldiers behind him that accompanied him to the scene, he barks his orders._

 _"You," he addresses the shorter soldier, Yasujiro Kata, "scour the scene. There may be evidence and clues scattered throughout the scene that needs to be processed."_

 _"Understood!" Yasujiro is quick to rush off, eager to follow orders in hopes of proving himself._

 _Hijikata then turns to the taller soldier, Nakanoi Ekiken. "I need you to keep the civilians away as we investigate the scene of this homicide. Understood?"_

 _Yet Nakanoi does not move and even appears to not have heard his orders. Nakanoi just stands there, appearing stricken as he continues to stare at the corpse of the little girl with horror._

 _"Solider!" Hijikata barks much more loudly to get Nakanoi's attention. There is little change in Nakanoi's expression, but there is just enough to indicate he hears Hijikata this time around. "I know it's horrible that a little girl is dead, but we need to do our jobs."_

 _"Sorry, Vice Commander," Nakanoi says, his voice muted. He pauses to bite his inner check. "It's just… The little girl's name is Shiratori Nanako… She plays with my little sister sometimes…"_

 _Hijikata feels his stomach drop the vicinity of his ankles but he keeps a straight face. This little girl is somebody. She belongs—belonged to people who love and care for her. She's gone now._

He had known for some time before Niimi's vanishing act that something was wrong. But he failed to discover what Niimi was scheming until it was too late.

Hijikata picks up a towel and he scrubs at his skin some more. It was still red, so red. There is no blood on him anymore, yet he is still covered in blood. When he confronted Niimi, who had become a rasetsu, Niimi still had his wits about him in the beginning before losing all sanity. It was terrifying to watch the abrupt shift. To watch a person change so much right in front of his eyes.

Yet this also made Hijikata wonder amidst the heat of battle, "How many of the people that Niimi experimented on did still have their sanity before they lost control and murdered? Was there remorse after a kill or only the instinct of a beast? Was there any human left inside of them?"

This was all on him. The blood of the dead, the blood of those men who became rasetsu. Only if he had noticed Niimi schemes earlier, then this whole situation would not have occurred. All these people, these innocent people would have had no need to die.

There is a loud splash as he throws the towel in his hands into the water with as much force as he can muster before he cradles his head in his hands. All those people died because he isn't good enough. He is too soft, he realizes. He failed to catch onto Niimi's schemes because he did not believe that someone could be so rotten. He can't be soft, not for this large role he has to fill.

"Hijikata-san?"

He hears a soft voice call him from the other side of the closed doors. It's Shizuka. Since he entered the bathhouse, she has lingered right outside. He feels her tangible concern and it just makes him feel guiltier. He does not deserve her concern or anyone else's for that matter.

"Are you okay? You've been in there for a while. Please tell me you didn't fall asleep. Can you imagine the headlines tomorrow if you fall asleep and drown in a shallow tub? 'Feared Leader Drowns in Puddle!'" Shizuka jokes in a futile attempt to comfort him. "You'd be the laughing stock!"

He remains silent and only feels guiltier when he hears Shizuka sigh tiredly.

"This is the last time," he finally decides to himself, "I am this weak and soft."

Tomorrow, the oni will rise from his futon. Tomorrow the Oni Vice Commander will come into existence.


	7. Death

**Side Stories: Death**

* * *

 _Chapter 49 Interlude_

* * *

Yukimura Chizuru doesn't notice it the first time she lays her eyes on Okita Shizuka. Instead, she is distracted by the terrifying men surrounding her that are all too ready to kill. In fact, while she was surrounded by the men, the presence of Shizuka comforted her. The presence of another woman (a pregnant woman, nonetheless) was enough to give her hope that the men would be kind enough not to kill her.

The next time she sees Shizuka, it hits her harder than she has ever been hit before.

Death.

Shizuka feels like Death.

It wasn't the violent, bloodthirsty type of death that the men gave off. It is so much better, yet it is also so much worse. The type of death Shizuka gave off is the silent type. It is like the watchful black cat, a specter that is always waiting to collect. The patient death that is always there lurking in the shadows. She wonders why nobody seems to react to the aura Shizuka gives off.

Maybe they couldn't feel it? But how could they not? The aura was like a hot flame against bare skin, impossible to ignore.

Maybe they were so used to it that they no longer acknowledged it? Yes! That had to be it!

But she doesn't understand. Shizuka was genuinely kind to her, or at least she would like to believe. Shizuka also seemed like a good person. But if that was the case, why did Shizuka feel like Death?

She decides to trust Shizuka despite the uncomfortable aura, but it will take time for her to stop being so nervous in Shizuka's presence. At least it is something to work towards.


	8. Souji and Isao

Let's get some insight on Souji when Tsubaki is involved.

* * *

 **Side Stories: Souji and Isao**

* * *

 _Chapter 52 Interlude_

* * *

Okita Souji growled under his breath as he stomped up the inn's stairs. There was a feeling he couldn't shake. There was irritation. Hijikata had sent him off to gather information on the thefts and while Okita knew the civilians of Osaka wouldn't respond well to him (they were at least gutsy enough not to flee in the opposite direction once they saw him coming), Okita still went anyway. What better way to publicly display the fact Hijikata was not always as perfect as Kondou said Hijikata was? Seriously, what type of idiot would send the terrifying Shinsengumi Sword to gather information from pansy civilians? So, while Okita was annoyed that he was useless in gathering information, he would get to rub Hijikata's imperfections in his annoying, no-good, face. It was a small win that he would gladly take.

But the feeling he couldn't shake? It wasn't the annoyance he felt for that certain **_somebody_** who's treacherous, self-centered, self-absorbed, and enjoys writing crappy haiku that bothered him. No, the feeling he was getting was that same precarious feeling he got when his sister abandoned him all those years ago.

Why would he get that feeling now? The only reason he could think of… No. Shizuka wouldn't leave him now. Would she?

Suddenly, he felt like vomiting. What if something happened while he was away?

No, he was being stupid. Shizuka wouldn't leave him.

He paused at Sannan-san's room, shaking his head first to attempt clear those unpleasant thoughts (not that it did any good) before he stepped inside, all while muttering, "Hijikata-san should think more before he assigns jobs…," under his breath to hide his unease.

There was a reason he always trusted his instincts. The alarms in his head had gone off as soon as he touched the door. Then his vision flashed red before all else faded from sight once he opened the door and saw the extra head in the room.

Oh, **_that_** person looked so different. The stupid boy from all those years ago didn't look like a boy so much anymore. That person even looked a little manly now. And—

What the **_fucking hell_** was that person doing sitting so close to Shizuka? And was that person's wandering hand inching near Shizuka's thigh…?

NOT. ON. HIS. WATCH.

Breaking Tsubaki's neck wasn't off limits, was it? No. In fact, there were no fucking limits. Tsubaki would have to come back from the dead if he wanted to get close to Shizuka again.

And, ah, well… No one could really blame him for snapping the way he did. Also, to be completely fair, Tsubaki jumped at him too (well, technically, Tsubaki really only leaped back at him in retaliation), so **_logically_** he was justified in trying the kill the bastard. After all, he was only defending himself and his wife from a **_threat_**. No one could blame him for that.

Grabbing Tsubaki by the forearm, he threw Tsubaki against the wall before slamming his arm against his opponent's chest, successfully trapping Tsubaki against the wall. All that weak bastard could do in retaliation was scratch and spit at him. There was a dark satisfaction as he felt Tsubaki's ribcage creak with strain as he shoved his arm against the bastard's chest with a **_tad_** bit more force than what was necessary.

Hmm… could he also break Tsubaki's arm by gripping it too hard? It was worth a shot.

He narrowed his eyes dangerously at Tsubaki. "You," he snarled right in the bastard face. He was sorely tempted to rip Tsubaki's nose off with his teeth, but he was too busy gritting his teeth. "What are you doing here? I thought I told you to keep away from Shizuka."

Yes, he was sure of it now more than ever. If he didn't end Shizuka's and Tsubaki's friendship that day, it would have ended the same way his relationship with his sister ended. He wasn't willing to lose his best friend to another man (or boy in Tsubaki's case). Even if Shizuka didn't like Tsubaki the way Tsubaki liked her back then, he wasn't going to risk it. And a good thing he did it too since he did eventually end up developing feeling towards Shizuka.

He had beat Tsubaki so hard that day that the whiny brat had to be scrapped off the floor in a paste. Apparently, it wasn't enough.

"That was when we were kids," Tsubaki spat back while clawing for freedom. "Things are different now. You won't be able to scare me off with a beating."

Well, the little shit had grown some balls in those few years apart. That past beating was definingly not enough. Best neuter the mutt before the dumb mutt gets brazen. Better yet, best put the mutt down before any **_accidents_** happen, not that Shizuka would leave him for the mutt. It's just better to be safe than sorry. He didn't get where he was by leaving his enemies alive, after all.

"You're right. Things are different now." A dangerous metal hiss cut through the frigid silence as he slid his out of its scabbard. "This time I have more than just a bokken. If beating you will only keep you away a few years, then I'll need a more permeant solution."

And then… Well… He had forgotten they weren't alone in the room. It was all dumbass Tsubaki's fault Shizuka was now cross at him. Shizuka even scolded him in front of Tsubaki. But…

"Really, not much has changed except the fact we're all a little older now," Shizuka had said after Tsubaki had left with Hijikata and Chizuru.

He was even rewarded with a kiss. All dumb Tsubaki got from Shizuka was a scolding.

"I still prefer you over Isao-kun."

That's when a vindictive mischievous settled within him. Shizuka would forgive him and let him get away with all the crap he could and would pull. And Tsubaki? Ho! Shizuka would give Tsubaki hell for any bad behavior.

Let the games begin. Maybe he could even get away with murder this time.


	9. Side Stories: Birth

Side Stories: Birth

* * *

 _Chapter 55 Interlude_

* * *

Okita Souji wasn't scared at all. Shizuka wasn't scared and she was the one that was going to give birth to their child, so if she wasn't scared at all then it would stand to reason that he had no reason to be either. She was an all-knowing doctor, after all. Although, maybe, just maybe, he was a little nervous. Just a bit. The thought of fatherhood was still a little daunting, but he was more excited than he was nervous.

Then everything changed.

Shizuka's water broke and he went to change the towels beneath her and to remove her ume. Her ume was tinged with red.

 ** _Blood_**.

He never actually forgot about just how dangerous childbirth was for the mother and the child. Many women and their babies did die annually in the process birthing new life. It was nothing new or even shocking. It was just life. But the danger of childbirth never really registered with him until now. It had been pushed to the back of his mind before this. Shizuka was a doctor.

 ** _Shizuka was a doctor._**

The mortality rate of childbirth wasn't supposed to apply to her. But then he saw the red. He saw her turn pale the moment she started feeling pain. He heard her breathing quicken and sharpen. He saw the sweat. This was when everything suddenly turned too real too fast. This was when it hit him. What Shizuka was doing was dangerous. She and their baby could die in this process.

And then his sister placed that dried seahorse in Shizuka's hand, that amulet of protection. That's when he felt a small semblance of relief. Like Shizuka, he didn't believe in the power of amulets. What little power that resided within amulets had to be useless in a world filled with misfortune and suffering. No, it wasn't the amulet itself that provided him relief but Shizuka's reaction to the amulet that soothed some of his worries. It was because Shizuka still managed to look at the amulet with the expression of incredulous disbelief. That let him know that she still had plenty of fight left within her. Childbirth wasn't going to take his wife from him.

But it was going to finally bring his child into this world.

Now, from what Kondou had told him about childbirth, he knew women weren't supposed to show their pain during childbirth. It was considered disgraceful to cry out in pain during childbirth, though he really couldn't fathom why. It was really stupid, in his opinion. If Shizuka wanted to cry, then she should be able to.

He knew Shizuka had a decent pain threshold. She freaking sparred with him and the guys sometimes and could take a few decent hits without flinching. But now… Just how painful was childbirth? It had to be nothing like getting slashed at by a sword or getting hit by a bokken.

Shizuka was **_whimpering_** when she was always so mindful of cultural norms and practices. There were tears collecting in the corners of her eyes. She was sweating buckets and that pallor of hers look really unnatural. Even rubbing her lower back didn't seem to lessen her pain. And when he went to spoon her from behind to comfort her while she was waiting for the time to push, she immediately grabbed his hand and squeezed it painfully. He could feel his knuckles pop while his finger joints chafed against one another in her tiny hand.

"Souji," he finally heard his older sister say after hours and hours of waiting. "You need to roll Shizuka onto her back and prop her up now. I need to check how far along she is now, but I'm sure it's about time to push."

He kissed the top of his wife's sweaty head and muttered a quiet apology to her before he began shifting her position, wincing when she grabbed onto his arm with one hand so tightly that her nails dug into his skin. The silence that filled the room while his sister was checking Shizuka echoed with Shizuka's heavy breathing and whimpers. He was about ready to pray to the gods that he didn't even believe in for it to be time to push. Shizuka already looked like she couldn't take much more of the pain.

"You're dilated enough." His sister withdrew her fingers and wiped them off. "When you feel your next contraction, start pushing."

"Almost there," he whispered softly against Shizuka's ear as she whimpered into the crook of his neck. He pried the brittle, dried seahorse from her hand and allowed her to clutch his both hands instead. "Time to bring our child into the world."

So, Shizuka started pushing. And while he hated the sound of crying, the next cries he heard were the sweetest he had ever heard.

"It's a boy!"

His mind blanked and all other sensations fell away as emotions welled up within him. There was some fear, but that was nothing compared to the other emotions he felt.

Joy.

Thrill.

Love.

He had never wanted to cry so much in his life. This was real.

The whole time his wife was pregnant he knew the baby was there and he was excited, but it still felt somewhat theoretical. Other than the baby bump being proof that he was going to be a father, he couldn't actually see, touch, or hear the baby. It was almost like it was just the idea of a baby. But now, all he could see was the tiny, screaming human he helped create being placed in his wife's arms. His own arms shook almost uncontrollably as he wrapped them around Shizuka, under her own arms, to help support the baby.

 ** _This was real._**

His son. It was **_his_** son and he looked exactly like him. It was the ultimate proof of fatherhood. And when he held his son for the first time…

He and Shizuka were no longer just a married couple. They were a proper family with a father, mother, and child. There was even a pushy aunt and a doting grandfather. They were his home.

And he was home.

He never knew such a cruel world could be so beautiful. There was no holding back the tears.


	10. Shizuka's Night

_**Warning:**_ sexual content

* * *

 **Side Stories: Shizuka's Night**

* * *

 _Chapter 60 Interlude_

* * *

It wasn't often I wore something so playful. Flowers were elegant. Flowers were refined. Just a splash of petals decorating the edges of a kimono was enough to let people know you were a lady. A well-mannered and properly raised lady. Now goldfishes on a kimono with dashes of blue here and there to represent water? That made me want to go jump in the nearest lake and splash around. It put me in the mood to eat watermelon and watch fireworks. Goldfish were fun and the exact opposite of how I currently felt.

As I fanned myself with a vivid red uchiwa fan, I could feel my stomach attempting to tie itself into knots. I bit my lower lip as I stole a glance at my naginata that was nestled against the wall. It was at this time I wished Souji had followed cultural norms and presented me with a kaiken when we got engaged. At least then I could hide the small dagger in the folds of my yukata and not leave headquarters unarmed.

"Mah."

I jumped a little before I spun around to see Inoue-san holding sleeping Ryota. I had forgotten he was in the room.

"I've never seen someone look so unnerved to go to a festival," Inoue-san said, offering me an encouraging smile. "You should be unwinding and having fun. I understand you're a little nervous as a new haha-ue to be leaving Ryota behind, but he'll be fine." He shifted Ryota a little when Ryota let out a little snore. "He'll be in good hands."

I cracked a small smile at Inoue-san, not bothering to tell him the real reason for my twitching behavior. Then the fan in my hand suddenly vanished, playfully plucked away by Souji from behind. He twirled it around for a few seconds before tucking it behind him in his obi. All I could do was blink at him in surprise when he tapped my nose.

"And here I thought you liked this type of hot unbearable weather," Souji said with a spirited grin. "What's with the fan?"

"Shizuka-chan is just nervous about leaving little Ryota-chan here behind," Inoue-san announced.

I quickly nodded, despite the fact I knew I wasn't fooling Souji.

"Maybe you should ask some of the guys to go with you to the festival instead," I added hastily when I saw Souji raise his eyebrows at me. "Ryota might need me here. He's still too young."

Souji snorted, wrinkling his nose up in disgust at my suggestion. Before I could reach over to take Ryota back from Inoue-san, Souji's arm wound around my waist as he proceeded to escort me out the main hall.

"You do know the story behind Tanabata, right?" Souji said, pausing as soon as we stepped out of headquarters. "It's about Orihime and Hikoboshi, the two star-crossed lovers? And you just seriously suggested I ask some of the guys to go with me?" Souji shook his head and offered me his hand, which I stared at nervously. "Besides, Ryota's spent a whole day without you before. This time it'll only be a few hours. He'll be fine without you. Shizuka, you don't need to be afraid of that Kazama guy. I'll be with you the whole time, so trust me and take my hand."

I meekly stared at Souji's hand a little longer. The fear was still there in the pit of my stomach, but there was also a warmth that flooded me at his words, slowly leeching the courage back into me. In the end, I trusted Souji's instincts more than I feared the chance of running into the blonde man.

Offering Souji a small but genuine smile, I took his hand and let him lead us towards the lively streets of the festival. My hands felt so much smaller in his warm hands. This was where safety was.

"So," I stepped closer to Souji as the streets got busier and more filled with people, "what do you want to do first? It was your idea to come in the first place."

"Oh, so you have no ideas?" Souji teased, putting an arm around my shoulder to pull me closer to avoid colliding into the hoard of kids that just dashed by. "You know, food sounds good. We did skip dinner."

I glowed red the moment my stomach growled. It was almost like he commanded it to growl right at that moment, especially with how smug he looked after he heard the growling. At loss of coming up with a snappy retort, I petulantly grabbed a fistful of colorful streamers dangling from a star-shaped lantern above us and threw it in his face. All Souji did was laugh at me before pulling me towards the closest red-painted stall.

I heard Souji sniffle a bark of laughter as he glanced at the products the stall had to offer. Just behind the shopkeeper was a pegboard lined edge to edge with colorful wooden masks. Plucking one off the pegboard, Souji turned back towards me with the mask of his choice held in front of his face.

"What do you think?" he asked with a chuckle.

I think the mask was supposed to be at least a little terrifying, but in Souji's hands, it was anything but. The red mask's over exaggerated expression looked goofy, the white fangs were silly, and the two horns on the forehead just looked like twin scrawny twigs. Add in the fact the yellow eyes looked like they belonged to a harmless kitten and you have the most ridiculous oni mask in existence.

"Do I look like Hijikata-san yet?" Souji move the mask slightly away from his face so I could see him winking at me.

I let out a small squeak as I tried to cover up my giggles. "Hmm… I don't know about that," I said, lightheartedly holding up my hands by my head to make devil horns. "I don't think the horns are long enough for that."

Souji took the mask off and stared at it a little before hanging it back up on the pegboard.

"True," he agreed with a grin before he plucked the kitsune mask off the counter. It made a light jingling sound as the tassel and the bell attached to it tapped against each other. "What do you think about this one?"

He tied the fox mask on before pushing to the side of his head to uncover his face without taking it off.

"I think Ryota will like that one," I said tugging lightly on the tassel. It was sturdy and the craftsmanship was truly wonderful. "Ryota does seem like he's at the stage where he likes seeing new faces. It'll keep him entertained for a while." I then flushed a little, feeling a little childish. "Plus, I like it."

Souji chuckled at me, poking my cheek. Pouting at his endless teasing, I bat his hands away like an ineffectual kitten before pressing a coin into the palm of the shopkeeper's hand. Then grabbing Souji by the arm, I dragged him towards some more stalls, the ones that smelled heavenly. Just on cue, my stomach growled once more when we passed by some ikayaki that were freshly being pulled off the grill.

"Well, you did promise me food that I didn't have to cook," I said, puffing up my cheeks peevishly. I pointed in the general direction of the good smells. "Buy me something."

"Such a demanding little thing," he jested as he turned to the nearest stall.

He then turned his nose up a little in disgust just as he witnessed a man throwing green onions into some okonomiyaki before escorting me a little further to another stall. I swear I started to drool a little, just a little, when I saw the food this stall was selling. Yakitori. It was mainly just grilled chicken on a stick, but it had been a while since I ate meat that was not fish.

And then I saw the jackpot. Enoki Maki. How long had it been since I ate pork?

I immediately started tugging on Souji's sleeves before pointing at the most amazing food ever.

"That!" I said, point whilst hopping around in excitement. Who cares if I was drooling now? "You won't say no, will you? Oh! And there's some shiitake ones and atsuage! And butabara too!"

"That many?" Souji raised an eyebrow at me. "And all at once?"

I nodded hastily, vibrating in one spot. I watched Souji speak to the vendor, pointing to all the things I was salivating over before handing over some coins. Then carefully balancing the numerous amount of sticks between his fingers, he made his way back towards me.

I may have just eaten all the food in one gulp without actually taking the sticks from Souji's hands. I probably also didn't chew as much as I should have too. I must have looked like a hamster.

But hamsters are cute, right?

"Really?" I heard Souji say, though he sounded more amused than anything else. "I think spending all that time with Kyoko-chan has influenced your eating habits."

Oh, it totally had, but I wasn't going to actually answer that observation.

Souji let out a bark of laughter as if he could read my thoughts before he tossed the now empty bamboo skewers into a nearby decorated disposal bin. Putting his hand on my lower back he began to steer us towards the more colorful side of the streets where there were bundles of colorful paper dangling above from bamboo trees. Just below all the colors, I could see children running around, weaving between stalls with little knickknacks in their hands. Pinwheels, brightly painted wooden tops, noise makers, and even some kids had little glass containers with live goldfish they won from the goldfish scoop game.

Even in the crowded streets, Souji seemed to know exactly what he wanted and where to go. Without even spending any time to browse through what other stalls had to offer, Souji made a beeline for a certain sweet-smelling one being run by a man with streaks of gray in his hair.

"Good evening, Tanaka-san," Souji said with a friendly wave of his hand as he approached the stall.

The man manning the stall looked up from his work beamed back. "Oh! Okita-kun!" the man exclaimed, putting down his wooden cooking tools. "Enjoying the festival? I didn't think you'd have time to with everything that's going on."

"Mah, I managed to get some time off. I thought I'd take my wife out to enjoy the atmosphere. The last time we went to a festival was when we were little kids, so it brings back memories."

I let the two men continue to speak as I peered curiously at the uniquely strange cooking tools. Then, suddenly, I saw the sweet-smelling liquid the man was working on solidify and puff up like a like a pastry in its little pan. I gasped excitedly and grabbed Souji's sleeve like a child, pointing to strange candy.

"Did you see that?" I asked in wide-eyed wonder, nearly fluttering about my boundless energy.

The man, Tanaka-san, let out a boisterous bark of laughter at my reaction. "Is this the first time you've seen karumeyaki?" he questioned as he removed the food item from its pan with a spatula before placing it on some paper.

I shook my head vigorously. "I've eaten it before when I was young, but I've never seen anyone make it before. It puffs up just like that over the heat?"

Tanaka-san nodded as he started working on another batch. I could see some little children starting to gather around the booth to watch.

"The secret is the baking powered. You need just the right amount." Tanaka-san mixed a spoonful of brown sugar with water in a little pan. "Too little and the karumeyaki won't rise. Too much and the flavor won't be right. Okita-kun's actually quite good at making these too."

"Really?" I tilted my head at Souji. "I didn't know."

"Well," Souji said, scratching his cheek bashfully despite the amount of pride he was radiating, "I stop by Tanaka-san's shop sometimes after work to buy sweets and he asked me if I wanted to try to make karumeyaki one day. I nailed in one go."

Souji then returned his focus to the candy before holding up some fingers.

"I'll take those two you just finished making," he said, depositing a coin on the counter before gathering up the puffy candy.

"Thank you again for your business!" Tanaka-san said, bowing slightly before waving to send us off.

As we left, Souji handed me one of the karumeyaki, which I promptly bit into. An instant sweetness flooded my mouth, bring back nostalgic memories of the past. More specifically, it brought back memories of a cold winter back in Edo when I was twelve. It was that year Hijikata-san's sister, Nobu-san came to visit Shieikan with her husband for the New Year. She had brought a small boxful of karumeyaki, which both Souji and I snacked on until our bellies ached. Then, after hearing about our stomach aches, Nobu-san pretty much scolded the ears off Hijikata-san for being so irresponsible by letting us eat the whole box at once. Of course, the whole time Nobu-san was scolding Hijikata-san, Souji was sending Hijikata-san a smug expression of, "Haha! We got you in trouble."

"Good, isn't it?" Souji asked with his mouth full. "So where do you want to go next? Do you want to play some games?"

I swallowed before answering, "Goldfish. I want to see how many I can get. I totally bet I can beat you."

"Hmm?" Souji said, his competitive streak tickled by my words. He leaned over and took a giant bite out of my karumeyaki. "Then I get something if I win?"

" ** _If_** you win," I retorted smugly.

He may be a warrior with steady hands, but I'm a freaking surgeon. I was totally better with my hands than he was. If he was good, then I was legendary.

Or that's what the competition should have revealed, but…

I swear that the paper net that was provided to me for the goldfish scoop was faulty! The first punny goldfish managed to punch a hole right through the net. As the goldfish made its escape from my net, it hit the water with a mighty splash, for a little guy, and soaked my entire face. I stomped on Souji's foot when he laughed at me but he didn't care. He got his prize.

It wasn't the goldfish. He gave that to some little kid that was running by as we were heading back home.

The room was dark. The only light that was provided was the light of the full moon and the stars filtering through the paper of the closed door and windows. I could feel Souji's hot breath on my bangs, tickling me as my hair brushed up against my cheeks, swaying with his each breath. His knee bare knee emerged from his yukata as it nudged its way between my legs as his clothed chest pressed against mine, trapping me against the wall. He had one hand against the wall, helping to support his body against mine while his other hand was in my hair removing my kanzashi.

"Remember what you said about wall sex that night more than a year ago?" he asked impishly as he pulled my kanzashi free. It joined the kitsune mask on the floor with a dull thump. "Want to try it out?"

"I—," I sucked in a breath as I felt his knee slip under my yukata and brush up against me, "—heard from some other people that—"

My breath hitched as he sucked on a sensitive spot on my neck. Souji took this time to press his pelvis up against me, leaving my knees weak as my hands clutched on to him so I could stay upright. I could feel his smug grin against my neck as he moved his way down, his hot breath creating a trail of goosebumps. He licked the top of one breast before he pulled the collar of my yukata loose.

I bit back a moan as Souji latched on. In response to the stimulation, I could feel my other side begin to leak, making me almost want to cringe a little bit. This was going to be messy, but Souji seemed in no way put off. In fact, it had the opposite effect on Souji. I could feel his tongue working even more eagerly as I felt him becoming stiff with the way he pressed his bulge against the spot between my thighs.

"You know," I said, trying my best to slow my breathing back down. It didn't work at all. "People say wall sex tends to be short. Holding another person up while—"

I was cut off by my own gasp when he nipped my nipple lightly. I felt my heart race a little faster when I heard him swallow. There was a white drop of milk dripping down the side of his mouth as he went to lick the opposite side clean before his mouth went onto mine. All I could taste was sweetness, wonderful sweetness, as he pulled my obi loose.

"Short, maybe," I heard Souji say as soon as our lips parted. His eyes were dark as he leaned in closer to whisper into my ears, his lips so close that they touched my earlobe. "But amazingly pleasurable. And I'm sure I won't be having problems holding you up."

As if to showcase his strength, he lifted me with one arm before pinning me to the wall once more. He cocked a smug eyebrow at me when that action caused my open yukata to fall from my shoulders, leaving me bare.

"You are incredibly light."

"And you certainly know the way to a girl's heart is to compliment her weight," I commented before tugging at the fabric of his yukata with a pout. "But, you know, it's unfair how you're still dressed."

His deep chuckles sent pleasant shivers down my spine.

"My bad," he said, setting me back on my feet briefly.

With one flick of his wrist, he disrobed and had me pinned to the wall again. I could feel myself growing rapidly growing moist as his stiffness briefly brushed up against my core. And when his fingers found their way down there, I could feel a swift buildup of heat in my belly. I gasped sharply, the sudden sound breaking the quiet of our room when I felt the heat snapping as one of his fingers lightly prodded my entrance while refusing to enter yet.

"Is this better?" he whispered against my lips before attacking them eagerly with his own.

My fingers dug into his back, unable to grab anything else as I tried to seek the release I now so desperately needed. But all Souji's fingers did was dance around my entrance, teasing me. I wiggled and pressed my pelvis against him to no avail. However, what I could feel was Souji's smug smile against my lips as his tongue gently stroked the roof of my mouth on its way out.

"Souji—"

He then abruptly put his hands on my butt and lifted me, eliciting a surprised squeak from my lips before a loud cry when his mouth made contact with my nether regions. In an instant, there was a sudden explosion of heat as his tongue flicked in and out of me. My thighs shook, my muscles tightened as my lungs refused to work properly. Then almost as soon as his mouth made contact with my core, he moved away and lowered me just enough to roughly shove into me.

"Shizuka," he grunted before tucking his face into the crook of my neck.

There was nothing slow about our tumble this time. There was no slow buildup to that sudden burst. It was like a wildfire with me coming the moment he entered and coming again over and over again with each burst of pleasure, each becoming stronger and stronger. His pants and groans filled the room partnered with my sharp gasps and moans as our limbs became tangled in each other. At the end, there was one final groan from Souji before he pushed himself in as deep as he could. I could feel his warmth trickle into me as he stilled.

We both remain frozen in place for a few seconds before Souji pulled out. My inner thighs were slick and sticky from fluid and my knees almost gave way the moment he set me back on my own feet. The only thing that kept me upright was the fact I was still pinned against the way.

Souji shot me an impish grin as he attempted to catch his breath again. "So," he said with one hand on my hip, "do you still need to examine my 'equipment' on the day of the physicals or do I pass? I'm sure from the noises that you were making that everything works perfectly fine."

I scoffed at him and whacked his shoulder playfully, causing him to shoot me a mock wounded look.

"Then I'd still need to examine your prostate. You want me to stick a finger up your butt now? Because I totally can."

"Nah, no thanks!" he said with a bark or laughter.

And then the door snapped open and the mood was completely ruined.

"Oi!" Hijikata-san said as he stepped into the bedroom with Ryota fussing in his arm. He seemed absolutely **_oblivious_** to the situation he walked into. No, he was far too busy trying to get Ryota's grabby little fingers out of his hair to notice the naked people. "I've been waiting for the two of you to get back from the festival. Ryo—"

Cue the awkward silence. Then followed up by the biggest "nope" moment by Hijikata-san in the world.

Souji blocked me from view before he cocked his eyebrow at Hijikata-san. Hijikata-san promptly spun around and marched outside like nothing had happened.

"Hijikata-san's a pervert," Souji sang just as the door snapped shut again.

Then came the petulant, "SHUT UP! I SAW NOTHING!" followed by the "W-Wait Ryota! D-Don't cry! I wasn't yelling at you—OW! My hair! Let go, you little brat!"

I sighed. Grabbing a nearby cloth, I wiped the insides of my thighs down before covering myself hastily with my goldfish yukata. I flashed a quick smile at Souji.

"Best go get Ryota before Hijikata-san goes bald," I said before pausing as I was opening the door. "And… thanks for tonight. You're right. I can't be afraid to live my life. I enjoyed myself tonight."

Souji hummed in satisfaction.

* * *

If there is anyone that lives in the L.A. area, you should go down to Little Tokyo on August 18 through August 20 to check out the Tanabata festival if you want to have fun and learn a little more. I'm thinking of going down there with my siblings, but it really depends on how busy I'll be on that weekend.


	11. Target

Fixed the error! Thank you anonymous guest reviewer!

* * *

 **Side Stories: Target**

* * *

 _Chapter 66 Interlude_

* * *

Nagumo Kaoru doesn't think much about it when he feels it. Death. It's not a new sensation. It's an old acquaintance, a concept that is beaten and scarred into the very bones of his being. Yet he is not comfortable enough around the sensation to disregard it. It takes a very special fool to ignore the Specter.

But then something changes.

The sensation explodes out of nowhere, overwhelming him and devouring him alive as his chest forcefully evicts his lungs of his breath. His hands fly to his chest, grabbing at the finery garbing him as if that would lessen the crushing tightness. Numbness spreads claws up his legs from the tip of his toes, causing him to stagger into the wooden wall of a sweets chest.

Death. Death has finally come for him.

He bites down on the inside of his cheek, tearing away a chunk of flesh. The sharp sting followed by the radiating ache shakes the haze from his mind. His clammy hands wipe the cold sweat from his forehead as his lips curled up into a wicked smirk.

So, Death has come to challenge him yet again?

A dark chuckle erupts from his lips.

Death will not take him. He escaped the Specter when his clan was massacred for wanting peace. He escaped the Specter when his very life was beaten out of him by his "foster family". He freed himself from Death's chokehold when bought his freedom with the blood of those who broke him.

His eyes, cold and hard despite being colored with the brown warmth of hazelnut, darts through the hubbub of the marketplace, sifting out the worthless humans. Fools. How could they not feel that assassin's presence when that very presence stagnates the air?

Then he could see her. There, on the opposite side of the street. Oh, she is good, the way she can fake innocence and obliviousness while shrouding herself with the shadow of Death. She looks nothing like an assassin.

The first thing he notices is that she's short, her head barely reaching the chest of a grown man. Her features are elegant with her long lashes, pale skin, and long dainty fingers. She's not ugly and quite easy on the eyes but she hardly stands out amongst the crowd, especially with the flowers of Shimabara residing so nearby.

And what's with that frog in her hand? Perhaps a new assassination method?

But her initial appearance does not deceive him. It will not deceive him. She does not have the hands of a highborn lady. The calluses on her hands tell him that she works with her hands and the way the calluses are patterned on her hands tell him she has worked with a weapon before.

His legs are spring-loaded and ready to move at the slight detection of movement while piercing gaze continues to follow the woman. She stops in the middle of a crowd to rub her arms like it were cold. As if to confirms his thoughts, he witnesses a shiver run up her spine.

His hand slips into his sleeve, his finger caressing the grip of his hidden pistol. He will not let himself be ended here, not when he still has to confirm the whispers of a rumor about his sister. His gun never sees the light of day. Someone else gets to the woman first and lays a hand on her shoulder.

It is then when all his thoughts about the women being a capable combatant are confirmed. Despite the petite stature, the woman has no problems flipping the man, a Shinsengumi member too, over her shoulder one-handed when that man places an unwelcome hand on her. She has a surprising amount of strength for a tiny woman.

"OW! What the hell?! Shizuka-chan! What was that for?! I was just saying hi!"

So, the woman's name is Shizuka and she's familiar with the Shinsengumi. And…

And something's wrong.

The woman is clearly not focused on him. In fact, he now gathers that she isn't even aware of him in the first place, so she couldn't possibly be targeting him. Now he doubts she's even an assassin in the first place. Yet…

The cold touch of Death still lingers and she's still the cause.

"It's just you?"

"Oi! What is that supposed to mean?! All you say is, "Oh, it's just you.' Where's my apology?!"

"I didn't say, 'Oh'."

"Like that makes a difference!"

Then it all makes sense when the pieces click together in his mind.

The corners of his lips curl up before he can stop himself. Such an unexpected find! To think he would stumble upon the first Higanbana in centuries by sheer accident. Then as if his luck could not possibly get any better, the one he came to find, his sister, appears beside another man.

Now, how to get close? Well, there are some easily manipulated ronin nearby. That will work nicely since he is disguised as a woman currently. First, he will need to get his hands on the Higanbana and once he does that, everything else should easily fall according to his plans as long as he has the Higanbana's powers. And as for his sister, Chizuru… Chizuru will definitely follow after him as long as he has the Higanbana. With the Higanbana, he can become whole again.


	12. Mother

**Side Stories: Mother**

* * *

 _Chapter 73 Interlude_

* * *

 **Sachiko**

Things were not supposed to happen this way. The baby she left behind so long ago was supposed to be dead. No baby—thing, unsightly creature—was supposed to not be able to survive those strong currents of the overflowing river, especially when the baby was so young, so helpless. The baby couldn't even control her limbs properly without almost poking out an eye.

They were not supposed to ever meet again.

But they did. That baby she disposed of came back, reminding her of how cruel fate could be. That baby was never supposed to reappear, let alone, reappear live. But that was not her first thought when she saw Ayeka again. No, she couldn't call that baby Ayeka anymore. Her name was now Shizuka.

 _She's_ _beautiful_ , was her first thoughts.

Shizuka did grow up to resemble her in an uncanny way, but at the same time, Shizuka couldn't have been more different from her. Shizuka was petite, a good half-a-head shorter than her. And while she could say that her own features made herself look regal, those very same features on Shizuka made Shizuka look graceful. Like a porcelain crane.

However, Shizuka had to be anything but fragile. There was a minuscule, faded line on Shizuka's cheek right below her eye. A well-healed cut that turned into a barely noticeable scar. This tells her that Shizuka had been struck in the face before with some sort of weapon, yet Shizuka is still standing with pride. Then there was the naginata strapped onto Shizuka's back, and if the calluses on Shizuka's hands said anything, they told her that naginata was not for show. That naginata and pride. Shizuka had been adopted into a samurai family and samurai women were not made glass. They were tough and unyielding like the katana.

But the biggest difference that separated them like night and day were their eyes. While hers was green, Shizuka possessed the eyes of the man who fathered her. Those blue eyes that were like the endless ocean, that could swallow people up and drown them if they stared at those blue eyes for too long.

Her chest tightened as her breath was sucked out of her lungs when their eyes met. Silence echoed in her ears

Shizuka was less than a year old when they parted ways. Shizuka shouldn't be able to recognize her. She should be safe. But then their eyes met. Those blue eyes did not belong to someone that was clueless. Those accusing eyes cut into her like jagged, broken glass.

Her heart stopped. No words were needed to tell her that Shizuka **_recognized_** her.

She shouldn't have left the death of Shizuka to the unpredictable river. She should have been smarter and fed Shizuka to a fox. It may have been a more gruesome choice to dispose of Shizuka, but if she did feed Shizuka to a fox, at least there would be no loose ends.

A decision was made.

She would not go back, not after she came so far to reach where she was now. She didn't need Shizuka's gaze, Shizuka's constant presence to remind her of the **_fool_** she once was. How she was once that **_stupid_** little girl that was lured into that man's trap by the promises of false love. No, she refused to go back. She was stronger, wiser, now.

She would completely cut Shizuka out of her life. If Shizuka didn't exist then her own mistakes in her past wouldn't exist. Her rape wouldn't exist. All that suffering and pain wouldn't exist. Everything would be—

Shizuka was not her daughter. Shizuka didn't exist.

Shizuka is nothing more than a sad stranger.

* * *

 **Ryota**

 _Why did Okaa-san look so sad?_

He **_would_** make some of his special ink tea to make Okaa-san smile and laugh again, but only Hijikata-oji-san seemed to like that tea. Though, Hijikata-san did yell and look angry whenever he did drink the special ink tea. Maybe because Hijikata-oji-san just liked it that much?

He would have to make more ink tea for Hijikata-oji-san later. But for now, Okaa-san needed a hug.


	13. Inner Demons

**Side Stories: Inner Demons**

* * *

 _Chapter 77 Interlude_

* * *

It was quiet, too quiet. But not in the way most people would think.

By all means, the streets were plenty loud and quite busy. Once he and Shizuka were no longer in the depressed Sumida District, the city of Edo sprung to life. There were crowds of people meandering the streets. The sides of the streets were alive with shopkeepers announcing their wares to the world. There were women bundled in groups all along the streets gossiping about the latest news and fashion. The typical, "Did you know that so-and-so did this?" and the, "Oh, he did not!" seemed to be rather popular among the groups of young women. There were also the occasional samurai walking the streets, easily identifiable by the swords strapped to their hips. Some of the merchants seemed especially keen to avoid coming into contact with the samurai and would often cross the street just to maintain the distance.

He didn't quite understand why some merchants did that, but Shizuka had once told him that it had something to do with class and the caste system. Before, when people crossed the street just to avoid him, he had thought it was just because he was frightening to the common person, but that apparently wasn't the case all the time. This had to be the reason why Shizuka was always insistent on always accompanying him when he had to conduct an investigation. Having a woman, a willing woman, by his side nearly always allowed him to approach people without them fleeing in the opposite direction. Plus, he always did like Shizuka's company.

Speaking of Shizuka's company…

Souji slowed his gait, not wanting to accidentally lose her in the crowd, and glanced back at her as a small frown surfaced on his lips. Shizuka paid just enough attention to her surrounds as not to bump into anyone or anything, but that was it. Her eyes remained trained on the ground as she silently trailed behind him, making him feel almost companionless. Shizuka's place was to be at his side. He was supposed to be able to wrap his arms around her without having to reach, something he couldn't do when she walked behind him. It felt unnatural.

When she finally caught up with him, she offered him a smile that made his insides twist painfully.

The smile was forced.

Oh, he could tell she was trying, trying to offer more than what she had to give right now. But she was crumbling and the more he tried to help, the more he tried to glue her back together again, the more she seemed to fall apart.

He hated it. He hated himself for not being able to do more. As much as he wanted to be able to, this wasn't a problem he could kill. In this situation, his skills with a sword amounted to nothing and it left him feeling bitter on the inside.

He wanted her to help with the investigation. He had her come with him so she could work and get her mind off of Sachiko. Instead, there was more damage done and it was his fault. He didn't expect Sachiko to live in the Sumida District. They had run into Sachiko, Kimura-san, Chinatsu-chan, and furthermore, the man they were sent to investigate had to be somehow related to the man that fathered Shizuka. It was more than what he bargained for and if he had the chance to turn back time, he would have asked Shizuka to stay at home with Tsune-san and the kids.

Because of everything that was uncovered, everything Shizuka managed to patched together last night, had all been damaged and cracked all over again after the barrage.

None of this was right. Shizuka had her problems, but she always seemed so strong to him, if not a little anxious at times, a typical trait of a worrywart. She was his pillar of support when he was still trying to find his place in this world. She was sturdy, sturdy enough that he was not afraid to lean on her when he needed to. But now…? Shizuka looked like she would shatter if the wind blew hard enough.

And he hated Sachiko for doing this to Shizuka. He had never wanted to strangle anyone before this, but Sachiko was quickly making her way up there. A lump settled in his throat.

He reached out and place his hand on Shizuka's cheek, making her fake smile falter for a brief second. She tilted her head at him before reaching up to touch his hand.

"What is it?" she asked him. Her voice sounded so solid even while she was breaking on the inside. It hurt.

His mind drifted back to the conversation he had with Tsune-san before leaving the house in the morning.

 _"Souji-kun," Tsune-san said, beckoning him closer with a wave of her hand just as he walked by the open bedroom door on his way out to begin the investigation._

 _He offered Shizuka a smile while silently asking her to wait by the door for him while he made a quick detour and indulged his mother-in-law's wish by taking a seat beside Tsune-san's futon. The moment his butt touched the floor, Ryota quickly scrambled over to him and crawled onto his lap. He could help but chuckle when Ryota looked so damned pleased. Ryota squealed with delight when his hair was ruffled. Then, Tama-chan, looking all jealous, quickly squeezed herself onto his lap too, shoving Ryota half off his lap. The two toddlers squabbled for a few seconds before Tama-chan jumped ship and hopped over to Tsune-san's lap. Ryota let out an indignant sound when Tama-chan stuck her tongue out at him._

 _"Shizu-chan has always preferred to shoulder everything herself," Tsune-san said as she ran her hand through Tama-chan's hair. "Despite how warm she can be and how close we appear, I have always felt a tangible distance between us. Not once has she called me 'Okaa-san' in all the years I have been married to Isami-san." A said smile surfaced on her face. "But there is no distance between your heart and hers. I can feel deep within my soul that she has trusted you with every piece of herself. So, please, I ask of you, be there for her when she needs to cry. Do not let her carry her own burdens on her own."_

 _He holds Tsune-san's glaze for a few silent seconds._

 _"That's something you don't even need to ask me to do," he finally answered, looking away briefly as he nudged Ryota off his lap before standing. Ryota let out a squawk before looking betrayed for being so suddenly vacated from his seat. He offers Ryota a pat on the head as an apology. "I'll always watch out for her no matter what. Look, Tsune-san, I don't want to have to cut this conversation short, but we should probably wait for a better time," he said as he excused himself. He gave her an apologetic smile. "I was asked by Ani-ue to investigate one of the suspects in the Gashadokuro case at breakfast and Shizuka's already waiting for me by the door. I don't want to make her wait for me for too long."_

 _Tsune-san nodded in understanding while looking like she wanted to laugh a little at the mention of making Shizuka wait. "Yes, you should go. I would not put it beneath Shizu-chan to leave without you because she has decided you were too slow."_

 _He rolls his eye at the true comment as he makes his way towards the bedroom door. Just as he placed his hand on the doorframe, Tsune-san calls out to him again._

 _"Oh, Souji-kun?"_

 _He pauses to glance back at her._

 _"I heard the what happened this morning, about what this Saburo did. You do not need to worry about him. Shizu-chan looks at you like you are the sun. This other man is nothing but a speck of dust in the wind." A devilish smile then appeared on her face. "Plus, I believe you are the only man who gets to comment on how wonderful Shizu-chan's 'knockers' are since you are the reason why they are bigger than before. Her previous pregnancy has certainly gifted her with some lovely curves, has it not? Please be sure to give me another grandchild."_

 _He can feel his face heat up. For Tsune-san to go there… He didn't wait to bolt out the door as Tsune-san's musically laughter filled the air._

Shizuka furrowed her brow at him when he felt his cheeks go warm again. Tsune-san and her insinuations. He really wasn't used to someone as refined as Tsune-san to say stuff like that. He hastily shook his head to dispose of the unwelcome red.

"Souji?" Shizuka asked. "Is everything okay?"

"Shouldn't I be the one asking you that?" he replied. He drops his hand from her cheek and instead wraps his arm around her waist so he could hold her to his side as they resume their walk back to Ane-ue's place. "You don't need to pretend everything's okay. If you need to cry, you can cry on my shoulder."

Shizuka looked away as she continued to pretend everything was okay. And it worked for her until it didn't.

Sachiko reappeared with her husband later that same day after the sun had set. Chinatsu-chan had been taken.

That façade Shizuka put up shattered and he did nothing to stop it this time even if he had to fight the urge to throw Sachiko out. This was something he had learned, something that Shizuka had unwittingly taught him during his own struggles. A wound cannot heal with a bandage still on it.

He absolutely hated it when Shizuka cried. It twisted his insides and made him want to violently go after whoever was the cause of her tears, but he also understood that she needed this. He didn't chase after Shizuka immediately after her abrupt outburst.

She couldn't defeat her own darkness by running from it, nor could she conquer her inner demons by hiding them from the world. In order to defeat the darkness, everything must be brought to the light.

But that will not keep him from being her every step of the way.


	14. Ryota's Morning

This side story doesn't exactly happen after any one event. I just happened to have this drabble on my computer for a while, so I decided to finish it and post it. It's best read while listening to some silly music. The Naruto ost by the name of Fooling Mode works really well for this chapter since that was what I was listening to while writing this. XD

* * *

 **Side Stories: Ryota's Morning**

* * *

 _Bonus Chapter_

* * *

Ryota stared at the ceiling. He didn't feel like sleeping anymore. It was early, the sun was still rising, but it was technically morning, so he didn't have to stay in bed anymore, right? But something was strange. His mother was still in bed. His mother's spot was always empty whenever he woke up. He rubbed his eyes before blinking at his mother's still sleeping form.

 _"Why is Okaa-san still sleeping?"_ Ryota thought to himself. _"Okaa-san is always up super early. Maybe she overslept? I can wake Okaa-san up!"_ he then thought, growing giddy. He could be a big boy and do a big boy job.

He rolled onto his tummy and wiggled out from under the blankets, letting out a small sneeze when his messy hair tickled his nose. Quickly turning to his mother, he raised his arms, expecting to be picked up before he tilted his head at her still sleeping form in complete befuddlement. It was so weird. How did she not wake up from the sound of the loud sneeze? He crawled closer to her and put his hands on her shoulder to try to shake her awake. When she mumbled something under her breath, he perked up again only to deflate before puffing his cheeks up in annoyance when she turned on her side to face his sleeping father without really waking up.

Clearly, he needed to try again. Something more forceful this time.

He sat up first so he could push his hair out of his face, only to get a few strands in his mouth. Then, he got on all fours and crawled over his mother's middle. There was a spluttering sound from her mouth, and he thought it sounded funny.

 _"Maybe Otou-san makes that sound too?"_ he thought before he decided it was a good idea to jump off his mother's midsection and onto his father's stomach with his whole weight.

There was a loud coughing and wheezing sound that came from his father. He didn't know that his father could make such strange noises. This was something he had to do again. His mother and father made such funny noises.

"Nnn," his mother groaned while his father looked like he was trying to catch his breath. She opened one lazy eye at Ryota, causing him to beam. Then she moaned as she pushed her face back into the futon. "Souji, your son doesn't want to sleep anymore. Go do something about it."

"Ugh…," his father grumbled, covering his eyes with his arms in response to his mother's remarks. "Why is he **_my_** son instead of **_our_** son when it's before sunrise? **_You_** do something. You're the one that's usually up this early anyway."

"Not today," she said, pulling the blankets over her head. Ryota puffed up again once he realized he's been brushed off by his mother. "I get to sleep in today because Chizuru-chan told me she'd take care of cooking breakfast for me, and I went to bed late last night because a situation arose."

His father mumbled some more things under his breath. "But I had patrol late last night…"

Ryota then grinned and practically vibrated when his father's hands suddenly wrapped around him and lifted him. However, that excitement was short lived when his father plopped him down on the ground without getting out of the futon. His father didn't bother even sit up on the futon.

"Go find Oji-san. Hajime-kun should be awake right now," his father said, rolling onto his side too as he turned his back to him so he could continue to sleep while facing his mother. "You can go play with him."

Ryota huffed at the response and crossed his arms. He didn't understand why his parents were so lazy this morning! But instead of trying to get his parents up, he decided to do as his father said and toddled to the door before wiggling it open so he could go outside. At least Saito wasn't lazy. At least Saito was always up early every morning.

 _"Why does Saito-oji-san have two names anyway?"_ Ryota thought as he toddled down the empty roka. _"Is it Saito-oji-san, or is it Hajime-oji-san?"_

It probably mattered little anyway. Old people were weird like that.

Then the sound of swishing caught his attention. He perked up, nearly jumping in his sport. That was Saito swinging his sword! Saito was always super cool when he was swinging his sword. He now wanted to swing a sword with Saito, but…

He looked down at his empty hands and the empty spot at his hip where swords should belong. He didn't have a sword. But! That could easily be fixed. He scurried down the roka, past where Saito was practicing in the open courtyard, before nearly tripping over his own feet when he arrived at Hijikata room. There was light coming from behind the closed door, so Hijikata had to be awake. He grabbed the closed door with his tiny fingers and tried to wedge the door open, but it didn't want to open.

 _"It's stuck?"_ That one thought alone left him feeling stricken. But, unwilling to be defeated by a door, he yanked at the door with all his might. There was a small clicking sound before the door flew open, making a loud banging sound as it bumped into the door frame.

"Wha?" Hijikata exclaimed, his eyes as round as saucers as he jumped from the unexpected noise.

Hijikata put down his calligraphy brush and raised his eyebrow at Ryota. Ryota, who was still feeling quite proud of himself for opening the door without any help, quickly rushed into the room and crawled over Hijikata's lap in order to crawl into that space under the desk Hijikata was sitting at.

"Well, good morning to you too," Hijikata said, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms at the squirming toddler now rooting around under his desk. "What are you doing here so early by yourself, huh, Ryota? And where's your haha-ue? Still sleeping? Well, she did have to deal with one of the soldier's broken arm late last night. She's probably a little sleep deprived."

He ignored Hijikata's prattling as he patted the area blindly before his hand brushed against exactly what he was looking for. Yanking the "sword" free, he let out an excited squeak before accidentally hitting Hijikata with his "sword."

"Ow!" Hijikata exclaimed before making an annoyed grumbling sound. "Really, you hid a stick under my desk? You know, this a supposed to be my workspace, not somewhere you hide things your haha-ue doesn't let you keep. Which reminds me, you need to stop putting frogs in my desk."

He decides to hit Hijikata in the face with the "sword" because, really, calling his "sword" a stick was offensive. And the drawers were the perfect place to put the frogs. In fact, his father was the one that told him that. His father also told him that Hijikata likes to lie about not liking the frogs in the desk. So, in order to make Hijikata truly happy, he needed to ignore what Hijikata said and continue putting frogs in there.

"Oi!" Hijikata exclaimed, furrowing his brow at Ryota in disapproval. "You're not supposed to hit people!"

He doesn't listen, or really even pay attention to Hijikata as he attempted to clamber off of Hijikata's lap, but before he could go anywhere, Hijikata snatched him up again and placed him back on his lap.

"Hold on," Hijikata said as he opened the drawer to his right and pulls out a comb and hair tie. "Let's take care of your hair first so you won't look like a wild child running around headquarters."

He decides to sit and patiently allow Hijikata work. After all, his mother didn't like it when he was messy and if his hair was messy then he was messy. Plus, he liked it when Hijikata cared enough to make sure he wasn't a messy child. As soon as his hair was up in a little ponytail, he beamed at Hijikata before he scurried on back outside to where he saw Saito practicing.

"Oji-san!" he quickly announced himself once Saito came back into sight.

He waited for Saito to pause and to look at him before he scuttled closer. His father did say not to approach someone practicing with a sword unannounced since bad things could happen. When he was right next to Saito, he took the stance he saw Saito using earlier before he began swinging "sword." There was a quiet chuckle that escaped Saito's lips. This had to be a good sign. That meant Saito approved.

"Do not swing so quickly without warming up first," Saito said, kneeling next to him. He felt Saito's hands go to his shoulders before going to his legs to move them further apart from each other. "Your feet need to be further apart. This will allow your movement to be more fluid."

He paused to look down at his feet before he looked back at Saito. Saito nodded back at him before standing back up.

"Now, Ryota, copy my movements," Saito said before restarting his practice.

He nodded in excitement before he began copying the movements. This was why Saito was his favorite uncle. Saito was always willing to play with him, even when his parents were glued in bed because they were feeling lazing. They played together until he began feeling a little tired. Just a little. Saito was also magical. Saito could always tell when it was the right time to stop.

"That's enough practice for this morning," Saito then said after a while. The sun was up now. Saito put away his sword before picking the toddler up. "You will make a fine swordsman just like your chichi-ue."

"Good! Good!" Ryota can't help but chirp back. He waved his arms a little more to punctuate Saito's statement.

Saito then placed him back on the roka before saying, "You should go find your parents. They will be wondering where you are now that they are awake. Even when sleeping in, your haha-ue still wakes up rather early compared to other people."

Ryota nodded obediently before running off back in the direction of the room where his mother and father slept. Since Saito was such an awesome uncle, it would be a good thing to do what he said. But then, he paused before he could return to his parents. There was something wiggling on the roka right in front of him. It was a good thing he didn't step on it.

It was this weird long thing with lots of legs that was also really big. It looked kind of cool and he really wanted to touch it, but he didn't think that would be a good idea. He thinks he knows what it is. It was a mu—

Muka—

Nukad—

Bukad—

Mukad—

Something. It was something. He didn't remember what his mother called it, but he did remember that she did say never to touch it if he did find one and that he should go find an adult. She said that the long wiggly thing liked to bite people and it was dangerous. As he turned around to go back to find Saito, he collided with a pair of legs, nearly causing him to drop his "sword."

"Oh! Look! It's little Ryota!" Shinpachi, the owner of the pair of legs exclaimed. "Whatcha doing up so early by yourself this mornin'?"

"He was probably up with Saito," Sano, who was also with Shinpachi, answered with a grin as he bends down to ruffle Ryota's hair, causing the toddler to giggle. He liked the attention he got from the two older men. "I passed by Saito a moment ago and he looked super happy and pleased with himself. I never expected him to be the kind of guy who was good with kids before this."

"He's probably so good with Ryota because the kid's Souji's son," Shinpachi remarked with a shrug before he puts his finger under his chin thoughtfully. "You know, now that I think about it, Shizuka-chan seems to like leaving Ryota with almost everyone else except for us when she can't watch him. I wonder if that mean's she doesn't trust us with him…" Shinpachi then waves his hand in front of his nose like he's trying to shoo away the thought. "Nah, that can't be it. She still leaves him with me sometimes."

"That's totally it," Heisuke then said as he appeared out of nowhere. He stretched his arms behind his head as he let out a loud yawn. "Shizuka-chan's fine with leaving Ryota with us as long as all three of us aren't watching him **_together_** at the same time. She said something about how instead of having three brains when we hang out together, our brains instead atrophy into one drunk brain." Heisuke then lowered his voice and mumbled, "Insulting as it is, what she said is kinda of true. We do dumb shit a lot when we hang out together."

"No way!" Shinpachi exclaimed as his jaw dropped open. "Is that what Shizuka-chan thinks?!"

Ryota listened to Shinpachi talk loudly for a few more seconds before his eyes are drawn back to the wiggly thing with a bunch of legs. He should probably let his uncles know about the thing so near their feet. Oh!

 _"What if I pick it up to show them?"_ he thought.

He nudged his "sword" toward the wiggly thing before picking up the thing with his "sword." His mother did say not to pick up the weird bug too, but it was fine if he wasn't touching it, right? Just as he was lifting it up to show his uncles, the wiggly thing fell off the "sword" and landed on Shinpachi's foot.

He never knew Shinpachi could scream like such a girl. Suddenly, he didn't understand what he had to call Shinpachi "uncle". If Shinpachi could scream like a girl, didn't that mean he was a girl?

 _"Is it Shinpachi-oba-san or Shinpachi-oji-san?"_ he wondered. He needed to ask his mother later.


	15. Tales of a Dead Man

**Side Stories: Tales of a Dead Man**

* * *

 _Chapter 81 Interlude_

* * *

Souji can't say he doesn't see what's coming. Shizuka's lips flatten before curling into a ferocious snarl as she pulls their sleeping son closer to her chest. The hairs on the back of her neck bristle as her eyes burn with anger. Sannan, on the other hand, folds his hands together in his lap as the heated argument continues, his fingers neatly lining up while his face belays perfect control and composure. There is not even a single hair out of place, no furrowing of the brows, or much of anything. The only thing betraying Sannan's false façade of calmness was the flinty storm brewing behind his eyes.

"You mean you will make them work that much harder just to die?" Shizuka finally snaps, baring her teeth at Sannan. "You'll condemn us all with your worthless, false hope!"

Shizuka flares her nostrils at Sannan one more time before shooting to her feet and stomping off with Ryota pressed to her chest, officially putting an end to the argument. Across from him, Sannan shakes his head with a sigh.

"Oh, my. How unfortunate that Shizuka-chan and I must agree to disagree on this matter," Sannan comments with a pleasant smile, making Souji click his tongue as he tightens his hand around his knee.

"Really?" Souji cannot help but hiss back as he narrows his eyes at Sannan. Sannan is quick to trade that smile in for a quirked eyebrow.

Surely Sannan knew what the results of the argument would be before even starting the debate. Yet, he decided to press on?

Souji pinches the bridge of his nose with his fingers as he hears Shizuka slam the door behind her. Of all the times to rile her up. Her health had been… delicate as of late. He may not know as much as Shizuka does about the human body, least of all a woman's body, but he isn't blissfully oblivious thanks to all of her journals he had skimmed through. Fool him once, shame on him. Fool him twice…

Twice never happens. And if he has any say in it, fooling him twice will never happen.

He had started taking note of the signs weeks ago. The queasiness came first before being quickly followed by a change in appetite. Suddenly, Shizuka had grown an unusual distaste for gōya. (Well, unusual for her. He had seriously wondered why she liked eating that stupidly bitter vegetable before. Good riddance, in his opinion.) Then, she was yawning at odd times of the day and complaining about being sleepy though she had a good night's rest the night before. Of course, there were the headaches and the soreness. However, he caught sight of the most telling symptoms on the nights they shared a bath together.

Her breasts had swollen. (Which he thought was a wonderful thing.) And, most of all, it was very obvious that her belly had started growing again, with her being so petite and all. It just irritates him beyond all belief that Shizuka has said nothing to him about the pregnancy yet. He even hinted at her that he knew several times before, with the most recent being the bath they took together the night before, and still, she had said nothing about it.

 _He relaxes in the furo, fully being able to enjoy himself now that Ryota had already been put to bed for the night. He hums to himself as he watches a lithe figure nearby dump a bucket of water over herself. Despite there being copious amounts of steam rising from the heated water, it does nothing to block the view of his wife washing herself._

 _When he sees her put down the wooden bucket, he quickly makes room for her in the furo by pressing his back against the wooden rim and spreading his legs (well, the best he could with that stupid cast still on is leg) so she can sit between them. The moment she slips into the space he made for her, he is quick to snake his arms around her so he can place his hands on her belly. He strokes and carcasses her belly while pressing a kiss to her cheek. Best be direct with her if he wants her to confirm his suspicions for him._

 _"_ _You've gained weight," he mumbles as peppers her with more kisses. The back of the neck, the spot under her chin, the place between her shoulder blades. They are all targets of his affection. He is sure that by aiming at such spots, he can get her to quickly relinquish her poorly kept secret._

 _She lets out a content sigh as she slumps her back against his chest. He feels her becoming putty in his hands._

 _"_ _It's because Mitsu-san keeps feeding me castella," Shizuka remarks as she bites her lips and puffs her cheeks up. He finds himself needing to hold in a pained groan when she shoots and completely misses. "I can't really say no, can I? I mean, the cake tastes so good and they aren't easy for Mitsu-san to bake. You also ate a couple of slices too, but it's completely unfair that you don't get fat like I do when I eat too many sweets."_

 _He rubs her lower belly some more and furrows his brow when he notices something… different? He's sure that Shizuka isn't very far into her pregnancy yet, but is her belly supposed to be so pronounced so early on? The baby cannot possibly be that large yet, can it? Ryota was a fairly large baby when Shizuka was pregnant with him, yet her belly hadn't been that pronounced during those early weeks._

 _"_ _I'm not calling you fat," he answers as he cups one of her breasts with a free hand. Yes, she can't be that far along yet. Her breasts haven't swelled up in size all that much yet, but the nipples had darkened to a lovely shade. "I was wondering if you have something to tell me."_

 _"_ _Like what?" she asks as she looks back at him all so innocently and tilts her head._

 _This time the pained groan escapes from his lips. She can't possibly be that dense, could she? She had to be playing dumb, right?_

"Oh?" Sannan-san says, leaning closer just the slightest amount, making the man's glasses gleam. "It appears something has happened while you two were away from us in Edo. Perhaps something regarding Shizuka-chan's health?"

He crosses his arms and snorts. Of course, Sannan would figure it out from the barest of clues.

"Ah," Sannan then says, leaning back into his seat with a smug look to his face, "so that's what it is. It is then understandable that you wouldn't want me discussing the medicine with her at the moment. It would appear that I have terrible timing. Here I wanted to ask Shizuka-chan if she would be willing to help research and improve the medicine. It is difficult to find a physician of her caliber."

"Ask?" he parrots Sannan, losing all sense of amusement. It felt like Sannan just told him a really bad joke. "You don't need to ask Shizuka to know what her answer is going to be."

Sannan's calculating gaze fails to leave him and then he **_understands_**.

His eyes narrow at Sannan and he grits his teeth while doing all he can to keep his fist from flying. It's great when a man like Sannan is on his on his side, but the moment the cagey bastard develops other interests that conflicted with his others' interest, then it was like hell. Sannan-san was the type of person that could hang a man with that man's own intestines and still make it look like an accident.

"No," he finally bites out at Sannan when he finds his voice once more. "You're like an ani-ue to me, but this isn't something I would ever do, even if it's for you."

"But if you were the one that asks Shizuka-chan to help develop the Water of Life, then she would not say no to you. Think of the progress we could make with her understanding of the human body," Sannan-san states. "This would help Kondou-san as well since he was the one tasked with developing the Water of Life for the Shogun."

"Che!" He doesn't know what else to say.

He wants to help Kondou. He wants to help Kondou so much it physically hurts. But to have to trample on Shizuka's feelings, her moral code, to do so? It's a bitter pill to swallow and something his heart will not allow him to do.

"Well?" Sannan-san presses on after allowing him a few respectful moments of silence. "Will you ask her?"

He puts his hand on his knee as he stands up. "Find another way to improve the Water of Life," he answers as he glances at the door his wife disappeared behind. "And keep Shizuka out of this. Don't bother asking again because the answer will always be the same."

Sannan looks at him with disappointment, but ultimately accepts his answer with a sigh.

"Very well then." Sannan pushes his glasses further up his nose. "Then I will not bother you or Shizuka-chan regarding this topic again. However, I still expect you to help me deal with Takeda-san."

He nods as he places his hands on the hilts of his swords. They'll do this the old fashion way. A dead man tells no secrets. But before discussing how to deal with Takeda some more, he'd like to check in on his wife first.


	16. Doubts

**Side Stories: Doubts**

* * *

 _Chapter 83 Interlude_

* * *

Chinatsu never liked mornings.

She doesn't like rolling out of her warm futon only for her feet to hit the cold floors. She doesn't like feeling half-awake while trying to stumble to breakfast. Most of all, she absolutely hates how bright the morning sun always is. It reminds her of her dark skin and how she failed to inherit her mother's dewy, pale skin. Dark skin was the mark of a laborer, the mark of the poor. Dark skin meant she was **_ugly_**. Never mind the constant sweet words from her father and mother that were attempts to reassure her that she was a pretty girl. They were her parents and what loving parents would call their own child ugly?

And now there is another reason to hate mornings.

She never expects that her first time would happen away from her mother, and why would she? She is only at the tender age of thirteen. The age where she is neither a child anymore nor is she an adult. It is that tender age where a girl still needs her mother to teach her about becoming a woman. However, the blood on her sheets and the horrible pains in her stomach accompanied by the fact that no one came to check on her is proof that she is now alone.

As she sits in her stained sheets, she feels a pang of tightness in her chest. She pulls her knees to face to hide the tears that escape from the corners of her eyes. She doesn't know what to do. All she knows is that when girls become women, they are supposed to bleed once a month. But how is she supposed to take care of the blood? How long is she supposed to bleed every month? Why is a girl considered a woman when she gets her first monthly bleed?

In this household of men, who is she supposed to ask? She doubts they know anything about being a woman. Plus, would they even be willing to go near her? The blood from a woman's monthly bleed is considered unclean. Whenever her mother was on her monthly bleed, her mother would sleep separately from her father and remain isolated for at least a week.

And her sister?

She is sure that her sister hates her. Sure, her sister makes sure that she is well looked after, but that is out of family duty. She knows this because her sister never looks her in the eyes, never speaks to her more than what is necessary. But the most telling thing is, her sister avoids her when she can.

Maybe she can ask her brother-in-law? He is nice enough. He's a little rough around the edges and a little scary at times, but he at least smiles at her every once in a while. But…

Once again, her chest tightens. She doesn't know him very well.

She bites her lower lip to prevent a loud sob from escaping as she hugs her legs tighter. She doesn't belong anywhere. She no longer has a home. She doesn't belong here in Kyoto in the care of the Shinsengumi where she doesn't really know anyone. That's her sister's place. She can't go back to Edo, where her mother, father, and little brother are, anymore. Not when she feels like she can't breathe when in Edo. Not when she's afraid to even set one foot outside because every man had started to look like Takenaka-san. Her only friend is gone too, sent away by Sanada-san to go live in a temple in the countryside. True, Genkei did hit her every once in a while… But it's her fault whenever he loses his temper! Most of the time, Genkei is sweet and gentle. It's not his fault that he's troubled!

"Chinatsu-chan? Are you awake? I'm coming in."

Her head shoots up and her eyes widen at the sound of her brother-in-law's voice. In a quick scramble to hide, she senselessly grabs her bloodstained blanket and throws it over her blood-covered legs and red futon. She doesn't even have time to wipe the tears from her eyes by the time Souji opens the door.

There is a tangible silence in the air. She only realizes her blanket truly hid nothing when she sees his slightly opened mouth and his wide eyes on her blanket.

"I-I…" That's all she manages to say before a sob escapes from her accompanied by a flood of tears. She quickly shoves her face in her hands to hide as she feels shame burning in her ears.

Even when she hears the bedroom doors slide shut and her brother-in-law leave, she can't stop crying. Not anymore. Everything is all wrong! She shouldn't even be here! If only she didn't go out that night! If only she—

A gentle hand brushes her hair behind her ears before coming to rest on top of her head. She jumps and her face shoots up from her hands only to see her brother-in-law sitting beside her. It was his hand that she is feeling.

"It's okay to feel lost," he says, offering her a small smile that was large enough to lift some of the weight in her heart. "Most girls usually still have their haha-ue around to teach them when this happens, but since you don't, do you want Onii-san to give it a try? I'm not really all that good at it though…"

She can't help but let out a tearful laugh.

"B-But, aren't you," she hiccups as she rubs her eyes, "disgusted by t-the blood?"

Her brother-in-law gives her a look that makes her feel like she just asked a silly question.

"You do realize what my job is here in Kyoto, right?" he asks, crossing his arms as his eyes twinkle. "Trust me when I say that it's impossible for me to be grossed out by this minuscule amount of blood. And if you're worried about the blood being menstrual blood, don't be." He shrugs as he peels away her blanket to examine the mess a little better. "I was raised by Ane-ue for years before going into Kondou-san's care, and I'm a married man now too. This is nothing new. Especially since Shizuka and I don't bother sleeping in separate beds whenever she's on her time of the month. While Shizuka's pretty good at making sure she doesn't leak blood everywhere at night, accidents still do happen."

The mention of her sister's name makes her throat constrict a little.

"While I can explain," he gestures to the blood soaking the futon, "all of this a bit. It might be best if I get Shizuka to do it. She **_is_** a woman, after all."

But before he can stand up and do exactly that, she grabs his sleeve and violently shakes her head. Her brother-in-law arches his eyebrows at her before settling back down at her.

"I don't want to bother her," her voice drops as she whispers words to herself, "not when she already hates me."

There is a short moment of silence before that is broken by the sound of him ruffling her hair.

"Shizuka doesn't hate you."

She lifts her head, but her rebuttal dies in her throat when she sees his heavy gaze on her. She can't decipher why his gaze feels so heavy, but it doesn't make her feel unwelcomed.

"She feels uncomfortable around and that is very far from hate," he says as he retracts his hand. "Trust me when I say that if she hated you, then she would have never let Ryota come anywhere near you. She knows you and Sachiko aren't the same people, but she's still having trouble adjusting. It also probably doesn't help that she's is pregnant right now too… Totally my fault on that part, but…" He lets out a sigh as he scratches the back of his neck with a tinge of pink on his cheeks. "Look, I can't promise you everything will be okay from now on. There will be some good days with her and some bad day. But I can promise you that she's trying."

"Why?" Because why try when it would be so much easier just for her sister to hate her instead?

"Shizuka doesn't know what it's like to have Sachiko as her haha-ue. She can't see Sachiko in the same light you do, but she does know what it's like to have sisters. And Shizuka loves her sisters, never doubt that." She feels her heart skip a beat at his last sentence and she almost completely misses her brother-in-law standing back up. He grabs a random blanket from her close before draping it over her shoulders. "Now, come on. Let's get this mess cleaned up. Blood stains if it sits for too long."


End file.
